FINANCIAL FASTING: week four...almost done!!!

Wow, we had a super busy week...and we did great on the spending...except my big mistake...read along with me and see how we did!

I left off here ending our third week with Aug 19th.

So, Aug 20th:
This was a good day with some of the kids going to watch their team mates do a divisional swim meet. I made sure they remembered to pack extra food because they were not aloud to spend money at the concession.

It also was our monthly date. We were married on the 20th of May so we try to go out on a "date" on or near the 20th of each month. We were grateful we had a gift card to OUTBACK and enjoyed our time together especially since this summer has been our busiest in 24 years of parenting! Five of our kids decided to do swimming this year...it was fun but a huge commitment especially since we don't do summer sports. It is a time to relax in our house after a busy spring soccer season. Well, I'm exhausted! (We also were thrilled that we had enough extra on our gift card to bring home a bloomin onion to our boys who babysat for us!)

That night was our pools family night party. It was great since it was free and fun! I made sure to pack lots of goodies so we were not tempted to spend at the snack bar.

July 21st:
Boys served mass and it was Donut Sunday!
Went to a wonderful going away party at this kind family's home for a holy family who will be greatly missed! It was so fun to see lots of old friends and meet a couple of new ones!

July 22nd:
Two of my kids had a soccer party to go to. God is so good. I was the one in charge of getting the gift for the coach. Since we didn't think this was really an unnecessary spending we didn't think twice about contributing to this. Well, God helps out in all things...I ended up getting the coach a bunch of gift cards at Giant Grocery store for local restaurants.  I was contributing $20 towards the coach's gift. When I opened my wallet to pay the cashier I saw a $20 Giant gift card next to all the cash I collected from the parents...so, there was my contribution and I really didn't need to spend "our money."  I also was taking three of my younger children to a special "members only" night at the Baltimore Aquarium. Since it was free I was pleased. I also haven't been considering gas or parking against our fast. Well, my super, wonderful Mother In Love came with us and paid for parking...so score again! No spending necessary!

July 23rd...nothing to tempt us!

July 24th:
Swim Team Trip! I was really worried how this was gonna end up, especially since we never have gone on this trip before. I forewarned the kids that we were not going to go to GROTTO'S pizza on the way home like the rest of the families. Everyone understood and was agreeable especially since they were so grateful that they got to go in the first place. I was so worried; that I packed enough food for three days! I was bringing seven of my own kids and five friends. With five teenage boys coming I wanted to make sure I had enough food so I wouldn't be in a situation to "have to" buy food. The trip was at a park beach, and the admission was paid for by the team. Some of the kids I brought ended up giving me $20 to help with gas and paying for the bridge. We got there bright and early and got situated. We did fine for the day and ended up taking home lots of extra food!

July 25th:
Swim Team Banquet! This wasn't going to cost anything. We were to bring a main dish, a side dish, and a drink to share. I had plenty of food in the frig and making the food was easy. Then I realized I didn't have any liters of soda or juice. We only drink water and milk unless we are at a party or hosting one...which is practically weekly in this house! I made a gallon of ice tea which is a big treat in our house. I brought it to the party and set it up with all the other drinks brought by the team. It was pretty comical seeing about 44 liters of soda and our tupperware pitcher of ice tea!

July 26th: My big mistake day...I went grocery shopping today and went to pick up a battery for my son's car. Well, the car shop just happened to be next to my all time favorite Dollar Store! I decided to stop in the Dollar Store to pick up some mosquito repellent bracelets for two of my kids who are very allergic to bites. Since we were going camping I ran in the store to see if they had any. (First mistake) In the past, when we were poorer than dirt...I would of called first to see if they had any. When the woman said they didn't I should of left right away. (Second mistake) Then I picked up some things and left. Twelve things to be exact...I got in the car to go to the grocery store and decided right then that I totally "cheated" against our FAST. It was kinda like accidentally eating a hamburger on a Friday during Lent. I didn't mean to do it and I really didn't buy anything that we didn't need. We just didn't need it this week. I could of totally waited till August!

This is what I bought:
3 pregnancy tests...(no, I am not pregnant-darn! But, since I am kinda going through menopause I take a test about every other month in hopes that we will be blessed again!)
4 packs of cupcake baking cups...(we have been running out and we have lots of birthdays coming up)
3 boy soccer bottles...(to be used for party bags for the 6 year old party we are having in August-I needed some extra)
2 packs of baking bags (kinda like party bags)

If I would of bought these things in a grocery store I wouldn't of thought they were really cheating...but since I got caught up in the dollar store and I could of waited a week- I did. It is a good reminder to my self that we need to think and retrain ourselves on our spending. Not get caught up in the moment. Purposeful Spending and well thought out! Little things like calling ahead can help alot too!

We shop at ALDI's and it has saved us tons! First of all they don't have lots of extras...so I get what I need and get out! We quit our BJ's membership since I save on buying my produce at ALDI's. 

July 27th:
Cleaning and getting organized for our family trip on Monday. We had a nice family dinner with most of my kids...we all love when the big kids come home to have a meal with us!

July 28th:
We had a relaxing day after mass and taking care of a couple of sick kids and packing for our camping trip on Monday!

I loved today's reading at mass. Two of them were my favorite. The first Gn 18:20-32
reminds me of myself...always pushing and asking God for more! Than the gospel is also just like me!
My favorite parts:
"And he said to them, “Suppose one of you has a friend
to whom he goes at midnight and says,
‘Friend, lend me three loaves of bread,
for a friend of mine has arrived at my house from a journey
and I have nothing to offer him,’
and he says in reply from within,
‘Do not bother me; the door has already been locked
and my children and I are already in bed.
I cannot get up to give you anything.’
I tell you,
if he does not get up to give the visitor the loaves
because of their friendship,
he will get up to give him whatever he needs
because of his persistence.

“And I tell you, ask and you will receive;
seek and you will find;
knock and the door will be opened to you.
For everyone who asks, receives;
and the one who seeks, finds;
and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened."

Just ask my family, friends, and neighbors...I don't know if it is because I am the youngest or it is due to my temperament...but I have no problem asking my neighbor for some bread or anything else I need! I also ASK/SEEK/and KNOCK on God's door all the time!
God and I have a great relationship...I ask and he usually gives it to me.
My motto has always been: THY WILL BE DONE!!!
I was gratefully reminded that this week when my skinny husband took off his wedding band and showed me what I had engraved in it...it said, "THY WILL BE DONE!"
Go God! The inside of my ring says, ".Eph 25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her" 

Well, I am off to bed...but couldn't help giving my husband a huge Shout Out for starting to blog again! Please read over at Sardonic Catholic Dad and read all his post on the how to's to do this budget thing...God is good to give me such a faithful servant as a husband and he had done such a great job at posting lots of ideas on saving! (ONE THING I DID REMIND HIM was: Don't forget that a budget spreadsheet is like a family job chart you have to make it meet the needs of your individual family. Most importantly the fact that for many many years God always provided for us even when we we didn't make enough each month to pay our bills we didn't go into debt-God just met our needs!) Wow...Chores and Job Charts...don't get me started...that is for another day...

THY WILL BE DONE!!! +JMJ+

Our Family rules and some milestones

My big kids keep reminding me of the rules...

so the little guys don't get away with anything they didn't get to do!!!

So they helped me compile this list together for a reminder:

Our Family rules and some milestones:

One –learn to walk

Two-learn to talk

Three-get on job chart

Four-give up naps & no more crib

Five- ride a bike

Six- learn to read

Seven/eight-first penance and first communion

9-play sports

10- Can have occasional sleepovers-girls get to paint their nails

11- iPod shuffle*

12-boy-knife & girl-ear pierced

13-Confirmed-ipod *

14-highschool & youth group activities

15-get cell phone *

16-get a facebook

17-get a twitter, graduate & laptop *

18-get to date

*these things they purchase themselves

I am sure I forgot something and yes we make reasonable exceptions on occasion, like when I painted my little flower girls fingers purple for their big sisters wedding.  I am pleased when they ride a bike or read earlier than normal but this is just a guideline! 

My advice to anyone out there...

love your babies as much as you can...

and have lots of them if it is the 

WILL OF GOD!!!

THY WILL BE DONE!!! +JMJ+

 

Chores!!!

People always ask me about chores...what age? How much?

Well I am known for having the world's largest job chart...
My motto is: "If it needs to be done...then find someone to do it!"
The funny question is, "how do you get them to do it?" Well, you gotta be mean...you were not put on this earth to be your kids buddy...but to teach them responsibility and a good work ethic.

One of my favorite stories was when my Barbara was about five. I was sitting on the couch nursing the baby at the time. When I told her to do her jobs...she looked at me and said, "What are your jobs!!!???" I looked her in the face (trying not to laugh) and said, "I am doing my job...the most important job of all. Feeding the baby and making sure you guys do your jobs!" Well, she is almost 16 now and she still has a mouth on her!

Does your kid have a life? Don't they want to play with friends, the computer, an ipod, the wii, use their phone, go on facebook? If they want a life...than they do their jobs!!!

By best advice about how to make a job chart is to sit down a couple of nights and look around your house. Think about what frustrates you...what frustrates your husband? (cuz, it isn't gonna work if you don't tailor it to your family, your house, your circumstances!)

Me: I looked around my house and saw...the front hall a mess...so when a friend or neighbor came by I was too embarrassed to let them in...so, I keep my front room clean and the hallway. No one is allowed upstairs for various reasons and we try to tidy up the downstairs as much as possible. Also, I am very disappointed at the end of the day if I didn't have a chance to read to the babies or play a game with the preschooler...

So some jobs on the job chart are: clean front hall/clean living room/read to kids/play game with kids

My Husband: He hated pulling up the street after a long day at work and seeing our house look like an orphanage with bikes, strollers, scooters, helmets, car seats, balls, etc...all over the yard. He also hates when he opens the van door and three shoes and five water bottles fall out...

So some jobs on the job chart are: clean front yard/clean front porch/clean car

So make it work for your family. I really like what Mommy Matters Blog says about jobs:

From Barbara Curtis:

AGE APPROPRIATE CHORES

Each child has his own timetable, so ages are suggested and approximate. Ages given are on the early side; for boys, who mature more slowly, add six months to ages given.

1 1/2 years:

Getting diaper for self or new baby
Putting disposable diaper in trash
Picking up small items from floor
Shutting cabinet doors
Turning on dishwasher

2 years:

Putting away toys
Unloading dishwasher — putting away plastic dishes and cups

2 1/2 years

“Folding” napkins
Helping set table
Putting away silverware
Peeling carrots
Pouring measured items into mixing bowl
Putting away broom and dustpan.

3 years:

Dusting lower shelves
Emptying small trash cans
Carrying stacks of clothes to rooms

4 years:

Feeding baby
Putting away books
Further dusting
Sorting recyclables

5 years:

Making bed
Setting table
Feeding pets
General straightening of rooms

6 years:

Pouring milk for family meals
Clearing table
Emptying trash
Weeding
General folding
Polishing silver, brass.

7 years:

Vacuuming
Loading dishwasher
Sweeping floor
Opening cans
Cleaning windows
Helping with grocery shopping

8 years:

Washing pans
Cleaning bathrooms
Beginning cooking skills
Sewing buttons
Helping with grocery list

9–10 years:

Changing baby’s diapers
Helping with meal planning
Further cooking skills
Washing car

At this age, the child should be able to learn any housekeeping skill, as long as you are willing to teach him. Certain skills, such as ironing, mowing lawn, and babysitting for siblings depend on maturity level and/or family circumstances. Parents know best.

------isn't she so wise!

See some of my older posts on this subject here! Or of course my hubby will make you laugh when you read this!

I could talk for days about this...but, I gotta go do my chores!!!
THY WILL BE DONE!!! +JMJ+

House keeping:

I have been asked how I keep my house clean...well after my 8Th i couldn't believe how much time I spent nursing and had to reevaluate some things...at that time I used the flylady and tried to reclaim my home...I try to live day by day to these ideas.

By no means is my houses neat but to those of you without big guys to help try this:

1. leave front room/house clean...everything else whatever (upstairs is last to get clean)
2. ask friends/neighbors/etc to help fold laundry, read to kids/etc... while you clean
3. have kids do it/ the fly lady says a poorly swept kitchen is better than none at all...it gets better when they are older...
4. I do have a lady comes clean my bathrooms once a month...she charges $21 an hour and an older lady help with school for a ministry who charges $5 an hour but I try to pay her more because I love her so; she come about 3 hours a week.
5.I also have had teens over to play with the kids, even 10 year old neighbors who love kids can play with a toddler while I clean up the house.
6. Have a flexible schedule, with a job chart!!!

90% of the time the front room is clean...kinda my haven and the first thing my husband/others see.

EXCEPT THIS DAY:

Well the other morning I got caught totally off guard...I had early morning unexpected guests. Usually I love "pop in hellos" but this time I looked like a slob, my kitchen area was a disaster...(eggs still in pan, cereal out, stuff on the floor, kids everywhere doing school, and piles of stuff laying around) Pretty much typical but definitely not company ready!!! The worst part was it was my oldest child's gorgeous god-mother who looks like a model and is due with her 3rd the same time I am. Of course she looked typically stunning and me in my jeans and ponytail!!! She hadn't stopped by in years...days of all days!!! To make matters worse...her husband, an ex-boyfriend of mine was with her. So I just welcomed them in and kinda kicked the stuff out of the way!!!

Maybe it will motivate my to keep on top of things more...Just thought I would share some real life blogging with you!!!

THY WILL BE DONE!!! +JMJ+

Day in the LIFE...at least for now...

SCHEDULES, SCHEDULES, SCHEDULES...I have been asked over and over again what my daily schedule looks like. I also have been asked by many if they could just sit and watch me homeschool...well, it would probably scare most women into sending their kids to school and deciding not to have any more children...

So, Here is a "schedule" that I try to follow...most days are lived on a wing and a prayer!!! (My guardian angle Malachi has big wings!!!)

WEEKDAY SCHEDULE:
(usually when I am not pregnant or nursing a newborn-ha!!! 1/4 of my year)

5am- wake up quick morning prayer
5am-5:50am-most mornings exercise (walking in neighborhood/treadmill)
6am-meditation time
6:30 am-mass if everyone is still sleeping or meditation time if the kids are awake
7am-breakfast/finish meditation time if I went to mass/computer time
8am-finish up breakfast/get ready for school
8:30-school with little guys
10am-break/snack/or if on a roll-keep going. (as soon as they finish what is on their chart they are done)
11:30am-lunch
12:00 angelus/nap time for 2 and 1year old
12:30-finish up school
1-2:30-play, read, finish up school...
2:30pm-snack-hopefully outside weather permitting
3-4:30-jobs/play outside or rooms
4:30-DAD HOME!!!
5pm-dinner/sometimes prayers at the dinner table before all disperse
5-7-sports in the fall and spring
7-winding down/reading/family prayers/radio shows/books on tape
Little guys can stay awake in their rooms if they are quiet and not fighting...if not lights off!!!
Big guys...hang with mom and dad/games/movies/computer/finishing up school and jobs...finishing up activities...check email and schedules for next day.
9pm lights off...mom and dad are going to sleep!!!
***added 9/14: When I am pregnant, I am totally asleep at 9...when Rob is in training he too is out by then. Otherwise we really are pretty much asleep between 9-10 on the weeknights. People make fun of us. We just add that to one of the ways we survive. Sleep is vital in our lives. Small nursing babies adjust things...they usually sleep with us until they aren't getting up real often at night. Trust me. I do not have babies who sleep through the night real soon.

***from morning till night the kids and I are doing laundry, dishes, cleaning, and taking care of the babies...don't really have a "plan on what day we do certain jobs"...we do them all every day!!! Each kid does have a specific day to do laundry. See Job chart...

OK...I am exhausted just thinking about it
Thy will be done!!!+JMJ+

Back to School Basics for Everyone!!!

For those who know me you will probably ask why is she writing about back to school? She is a homeschool mom.

Being a mom of 11, homeschooler or not, means getting organized this time of year for my brood to get back on schedule with academic activities, as well as sports, clubs and family time.

I have a few simple suggestions to help any family get prepared for the next month of winding down to gearing up for a year of typical activities that keep any family on their toes.

Let us start with the kids' schedules/classes/teachers:

Look at your child's schedule for his/her day. What time does the school day start? How long does it take to get to school? Is there a bus, carpool or walking plan? Start thinking now about how and when or who is getting your kids to school. Walk through the "plan" with your little guys and explain to the older ones what you expect during their comings and goings - being on time, being polite, not talking to strangers and a back-up plan in case you are late. As a homeschooler, talk about your goals for the year and the type of schedule you are planning for the year.

Once you have a schedule (be flexible), look into a planner/calendar/chart or something for your personal use and for the family to see when they want to make plans. There are tons to buy … think about size, durability and visibility. There are many free ones to download online as well as many at office supply stores. Don't spend lots of money on this at first; it is likely you will try many before you find one that meets your family's needs. This is my family's way of survival.

If your child is in a program that you get a class schedule, then look it over and make sure you and your child know the expectations for that class. Make sure if you don't know about the class, you find out as soon as possible. As a homeschooler you have the flexibility to try some new classes, look at your child's interests and see what you can find during the quietness of the day while most of the kids are in school.

The make-or-break of many school years is the teacher. I really recommend talking to your child about respecting their teacher(s). One of life's biggest lessons is learning that some years you get nice teachers, some years mean, some years hard and some years easy. No matter what kind they get … respect is very important. Meet your child's teachers. Keep in touch with them, check in on your child's progress. Don't bother the teacher, just let them know you are interested about your child's progress and want to keep in touch. Volunteering is huge. It can make a C student an A student. That is a huge difference. Take advantage of PTA meetings and open houses.

If your child wears a uniform, then thank your lucky stars. If not it is time to set some standards. Check your budget and see what can be spent. This is a great lesson for kids to use their money wisely. You are doing no one a favor by giving a child a credit card and saying go have fun. Set limits and you will be surprised how well your child can stick to a budget. Let's say you offer $200 for everything. The child needs to decide if they want $120 shoes and a shirt or two, or if they want to buy three pairs of pants and a cute hoodie and some shoes from Payless. The real creative kids will hit the local thrift shop and come home with an entire new wardrobe. I used to hit the local thrift shops and get tons of compliments on my creative wardrobe. The same goes for school supplies, make a budget or you will spend unnecessary money on supplies you can find on sale.

OK, sit down for this one - activities. This is what can make or break a year, a kid, a family, as well as your wallet. Now is the time to really sit and discuss the year ahead. What's in store? A new baby, job, move, family reunion, graduation? What months or seasons don't work for your family? Is your family dedicated to sports, music, gymnastics, drama, dance, Scouts or church programs? Some families I know let a child pick one activity per season. Depending on your family and income size this could be a huge decision. Talk with your children and see if they would like to try something new or want to concentrate on a new skill. Again, you may be surprised how mature your child can be when making these big decisions. I know in our family our kids have had to sacrifice playing for a special team because of fees or time constraints. Some years we are more flexible if more than one kid can do the same activity. Like having multiple kids on the same soccer team or a piano teacher who will come to the house to teach three at a time.

Most importantly on my list is family time. Again, each family needs to decide what is best for their family, but you would be surprised how fast your year will go if you don't schedule in family time. It doesn't have to be a trip to Disney to make family time. It is really important for each family to have down time. This can be just free time to have fun, read and read some more. Most importantly make time for family dinners, not only is it healthier for children, but it is a great time to share about their day - homeschoolers as well as children away from home during the day. Game nights have become popular in our generation, and neighborhood pickup games can't be beat. Make sure to schedule lots of little day trips; take advantage of all the free stuff in your area. I can't stress the importance of visiting relatives that don't live locally. It is important for kids to know their cousins, aunts and uncles, as well as grandparents. This is a good time to start some fun family traditions or share with them what you did when you were young.

Any time spent preparing for your school year will be time well spent.

QUESTIONS about homeschooling with little kids...and being pregnant:

opps...so much for my auto post today...

To answer a question with some quick advice,

From a mom expecting her 6th with the oldest 7:

1-what are the math facts, states info on tapes/ Cd's that you recommend?
I would suggest to go to free share or online to educational games. Really limit computer time for special occasions, rewards, or special days. Also go to your local library and get the tapes they have...you can find an entire world of books on tape, as well as other Cd's that could be used for "school". Some of our favorite Cd's from the library are: Little house on the Prairie, Mrs. Piggy Wiggle, Swiss Family Robinson, Red wall, Adventures in Oddessy, Box car children, as well as a ton of others. Your librarian should be you best friend...when I had lots little guys, I would call ahead ask for some specific things, they would get them for me and leave them at the desk for me, then I would pull up when out running errands and run in or send a big kid in.


2-do you have a chore chart? I have a lot of little ones only (oldest is only 7) and I NEED their help as baby #6 is due in Sept. I am not sure of what to expect or if I am not asking enough of them.
Do I have a job chart??? I am known in this town as having the biggest chart ever!!! The local nuns come to my house just to see that mother superior is easy on them compared to my family!!! (I am not kidding) It is amazing how much the little kids like the job chart, then you wake up one day and they are teenagers complaining about everything. For making a job chart I write down what I wish was accomplished during the day...what my husband wishes was accomplished for the day...than I put it in writing. I mean silly things like how I wish I read more to the little guys...played a game with them...so instantly it became a job for the big guys...than my husband loves coming home to the front yard not looking like we have 11 kids...so clean up front yard is a job...opening the van door and having everything fall out...new job...walking in the front door and stepping on shoes...new job...trying to find the mail...the kids favorite job: welcome daddy...they get the mail and watch out for poppa!!!


3-Do you have extra help besides your older kids? who and how did you find them?
Sometimes yes...it usually is kind friends who come to help out. At one time my mom thought she was doing me a favor and offered to pay for my kids to go to the local Catholic School...(she thought it was still $25 a family like in her day). When I explained that I didn't want to send my kids away to school...my sister just told her to give me some $$$ to find some help. That lasted about 2 years before another sibling needed help more than I) I am a huge one on asking for help...when I was pregnant with my fifth I mentioned to my friend my disapointment in falling asleep while reading to my little guys...she offered to come over to read to them...it has been 12 years and she still comes about twice a week during the school year!!! That is what I call a great friend!!! ASK/ASK/ASK!!!


4-What schooling ideas/ideas to help entertain the young kids do you have for when a new baby arrives?"
Limit your expectations when the baby comes...read as much as you can...let the kids play with each other, good toys, and outside!!! Have a special box of toys that just comes out when you need them: during phone calls with the doctor, during reading lessons with the early reader, or when mom needs a rest!!! Again...BOOKS ON TAPE are huge in our house!!!

Job Charts...

We have used job charts for about six years. Mainly because I forget what I had for breakfast more or less who did dishes yesterday...So to remain sane and fair in most respects I have used different job charts. The last couple of years it has become INDUSTRIAL due to the size of our family and house.

My advice about making a JOB chart is to see what bothers you at the end of the day...look around your house...what is a mess? What didn't get done...

The next if not first thing to do is to see what bothers your husband? What would he like done before he gets home? Or what things bother him about your home...or "his castle"?

My list looked something like this to start:

1. upset that I didn't get to read to little ones

2. didn't get to play a game with ...

3. didn't have time to work on...with...during school

4. needed to do this...but, was too busy doing...

So I established jobs like:

1. read to kids

2. play game with kids

3. teacher helper

4. helper

Than I looked at what I wanted accomplished before my sweetie got home, because I knew it would make him happy if...

1. the front yard didn't have 4 bikes, 5 helmets, 2 car seats, 3 balls...

2. when he walked in the front door to coats,clothes, and shoes...

3. someone who greeted him and showed excitement

4. dinner being prepared

5. kitchen not destroyed

So I came up with these jobs to help:

1. Front Yard

2. Front Entrance

3. Greet Daddy

4. Dinner Prep

5. Kitchen Helper, sweep, counters, kitchen check

6. Wife being wrapped up in saran wrap to await lover boy...(that's for you sweetie...now everyone knows why we have ll kids!!!)

So It has worked pretty well the last couple of years, with the key being flexible...