It is TIME for change:

I got a new job...I get to write for a local PATCH news online. My latest was about advice for parents with little ones.

Let me know what you think...and feel free to link it if you want.

Giving advice is like running for public office: People can always dig up dirt about how you don't practice what you preach. Let me share some advice that has worked for me most of the time. I have to confess that I am far from a perfect wife and mother, so take this advice with a large grain of salt.

I am constantly asked how I accomplish anything with 12 kids. One of the main questions centers on bed time and getting a bit of time alone or as a couple. First of all, I had to come to grips with the fact that even though my kids seem needier, my first priority is my husband. I know it seems strange when the children are little and so needy, but the best thing you can do for your kids is to love your spouse. One thing that has helped my marriage and my parenting is to put the kids to bed early when they are young. read more here:

THY WILL BE DONE!!! +JMJ+

Heathly Money Saving Tips:

Market Aisle-by-Aisle Quick Tips From HUNGRY GIRL site:

Fruit and Veggies - Buy seasonal -- there's generally a lot of whatever's in season, so stores lower the price to sell it all before it goes bad. And frozen fruit and veggies are great any time of year, because they last a LONG time without spoiling.

Meat and Seafood - Take some time to compare prices. The meat counter could have a deal that beats the price of the packaged stuff; sometimes a big pack of frozen chicken breasts is your best bet. And frozen shrimp is a big YES -- much cheaper than fresh!

Canned Foods - Staples that we swear by? Canned beans, canned crushed tomatoes , canned pineapple in juice (great as an ingredient or a straight-up snack), and light soup. Also, canned/pouched tuna in water is a must!

Breads - Make the stuff last. Keep it in the fridge or freezer to lengthen its shelf life, and don't have bread with every single meal of the day. (That gets both costly and carby.) And a pack of high-fiber tortillas is a good investment, since you can wrap things up in 'em, bake them into thin pizza crusts, or cut 'em and bake 'em into chips!

Dairy - Generic/store-brand versions of fat-free and low-fat dairy items are smart choices. But also consider how well an item multitasks. For example, sour cream is good, but you're not gonna eat it with a spoon. Choosing fat-free plain yogurt (Greek or regular) will give you more options; use it as a sour cream swap, in smoothies and parfaits, or just add a bit of sweetener and eat!

Snacks and Sweets - For some SERIOUSLY helpful tips on how to put together your very own 100-calorie snacks, click here. Ration your goodies out; it's good for your wallet AND your waist.

Thy Will Be Done!!! +JMJ+

BEDTIME RULES:

Bedtime around here is getting out of control. We have always hated bedtime, especially in our early days when putting five kids under five to bed was so hectic!!! When I was expecting baby #5 our kids went up to bed about 8:30pm and it was 9:15pm before we were done!!! Being pregnant and chasing four kids around all day was so exhausting that I was falling asleep around 7pm and wasn't much help to my husband. So after consulting with friends with large families, we decided to start putting the kids to bed at 7pm. It was such a blessing, (and we just happen to start it during the October time change when the kids bodies really thought it was 8pm anyway).

At first it was hard adjusting to everyone, early bed meant earlier awake(good thing I am a morning person), earlier lunch, and earlier dinner, but soon we saw the huge benefits in getting them to bed earlier. The time we finally got to spend together was a new world for us, as well as getting to go out for date night without having my mother in love or sitter have to put the kids to bed, or hearing the kids whine about us leaving!!! We also got to spend special time with the big kids one on one, I got to start participating in women's groups, and go to social gatherings with friends!!!

As with all advice I give, DO WHAT IS BEST FOR YOUR FAMILY!!! (I have had friends try to do my schedule...and it only works for some) This is what works for us...not everyone. Many dads don't get home till late, so obviously it wouldn't be best for dad not to see the kids!!! Also we are very flexible...so don't think we never deviate from this time.

With summer here and my daughter from college sharing a room with the five and three year old, it has thrown off our night time schedule. She will lay in bed taking her summer on line class, emailing friends, or facebook stalking...so the girls don't go down as simply. I have also been blessed to have the big kids put the girls to bed for me but it gets so confusing if we don't all stick to a schedule...(So back to schedule-see bottom)

The baby is easily in bed at 7pm...mostly because at 7months pregnant, he tires me out!!! (who am I kidding...he tired me out before I was pregnant!!!) Then the three middle boys 7,9,11 are great about getting in their room around 7pm, they are usually good at playing legos, playmobile, cards, and games. Some times we need to remind them to quiet things down. They pretty much know that if they fight or tattle, the lights will go off and no more fun to be had.

The teenagers know if we can't hear them and they are behaving in their room...(computer locked, tv off, and cell phones in our room) than they are on their own. So far --- So good...not that we don't worry and pray for the best.

How could I forget...mom and dad to bed!!! 9 is great, 10 is becoming normal...11 is crazy!!!

We had to reestablish the rules especially for the little girls:

1. GO POTTY
2. SHOWER/ BATH/WASH UP
3. BRUSH TEETH
4. PUT ON PJ'S
5. SAY PRAYERS (especially guardian angel prayer for no bad dreams)
6. READ BEDTIME STORY
7. GET IN BED
8. PUT ON TAPE OR LISTEN TO ODDESSY ON THE RADIO
9. READ QUIETLY
10 STAY IN BED!!!

I know I list no brainer things...but I didn't write go potty and my 14 year old said tonight...add that mom, C just wet her pants in her crib...can never be too detailed!!! C also advised me tonight that she just wanted to cuddle, when I handed her a stuffed animal, she said, no with my family!!! I said we wouldn't fit in her crib!!!

Sometimes our schedule works and sometimes it doesn't...we just keep trying to maintain a schedule, especially before the baby comes.

THY WILL BE DONE!!! +JMJ+

PUTTING THE KIDS TO BED EARLY...

This is the day each year for the past 12 years that I share one of those..."how do you do it?" questions...

One of the best things my husband and I learned and embraced many years ago when I was pregnant with our fifth, was to put our kids to bed early!!! We started to put them to bed at 7pm. This is a perfect time of year to utilize this practice with the time change...just remember...that with early to bed comes early to wake...it really didn't change my wake up time, since I was waking up with the babies anyway. I also am a morning person!!!It made my kids eat earlier, for all meals, which was fine...but in the long run it was one of the best things we every did. My husband and I had time together, we could go out at night without having a sitter or family have to put to bed a house full of little guys.

***THE SECRET TO THIS SUCCESS IS GOING TO BED EARLY YOURSELVES TOO!!!

As usual...when I give advice...you must decide with your spouse what is best for your family. I had one friend whose husband wanted her to do this...she worked at home midnights doing computer work for a hospital and was exhausted in the morning...it just didn't work for their family...and she just kept feeling inadequate.

IMITATION OF CHRIST: Meditation of the day...

The Fifth Chapter: The Wonderful Effect of Divine Love (part two)

Nothing is sweeter than love, nothing stronger or higher or wider; nothing is more pleasant, nothing fuller, and nothing better in heaven or on earth, for love is born of God and cannot rest except in God, Who is above all created things.

One who is in love flies, runs, and rejoices; he is free, not bound. He gives all for all and possesses all in all, because he rests in the one sovereign Good, Who is above all things, and from Whom every good flows and proceeds. He does not look to the gift but turns himself above all gifts to the Giver. (I think it was St. Augustine who said, "Our hearts are restless till they find rest in Thee")

Love often knows no limits but overflows all bounds. Love feels no burden, thinks nothing of troubles, attempts more than it is able, and does not plead impossibility, because it believes that it may and can do all things. For this reason, it is able to do all, performing and effecting much where he who does not love fails and falls. (perfect job description for a mom!!!)

Love is watchful. Sleeping, it does not slumber. Wearied, it is not tired. Pressed, it is not straitened. Alarmed, it is not confused, but like a living flame, a burning torch, it forces its way upward and passes unharmed through every obstacle. (again...perfect job description for a mom!!!)

Potty training...

We are asked frequently how we "potty train" and I simply say...stay home for at least a week... then the parents usually walk away discouraged... Seriously, people are so busy running around that simple things like potty training is rocket science.

It is pretty simple around here...first, make sure your child is ready...good signs are dry at nap and especially when they wake up in the morning dry!!! We let our two year old wear underwear and use a timer every 30 min to remind mom...then when it dings we go try...if they go, they get a treat...(usually whatever candy I have) most likely m&m's...then we keep trying...if we go out, I use rubber pants over the underwear. If they don't make it to the potty...no biggy...we just do alot of changing of clothes...of course summer is easier when they can just run around in underwear.

Someone gave these to me and they are great!!! We usually wear ones like these but never payed these prices, people gave them to us...and we just keep passing them from kid to kid.

This site as well as many other's have some interesting advice.

Thy Will Be Done!!!+JMJ+

BEST HOMESCHOOLING CURRICULUM

It is that time of year when I get the calls and emails about my advice on " The best homeschooling CURRICULUM" I have to say... is: THE ONE YOU ACTUALLY USE!!!... That may be boxed,ordered, homemade, video, organic, unschooling, great books, hands on, Montessori, Charlotte mason, work books, 5 in a Row, themed school, etc... I have used them all and I still don't have a year that looks the same as the last. Life in our house isn't like that. There is always a glitch in my plans...so my advice is be FLEXIBLE, enjoy your kids, and read as much as you can. Some how my big kids have become well balanced, smart, and have great SAT's(if you care about that kind of stuff)...

Just do it!!! I would love to hear what you like!!! I am constantly looking for an easy science program...you know the kind you just add water...and your kids are smart!!!

Thy Will Be Done!!!+JMJ+

Interesting advice...

It is that time of the year when my phone rings off the hook with people looking for advice!!!

Today I was asked a question concerning a friend who is considering not sending their soon to be 4Th grader and his siblings back to public school. My advice (again take with a grain of salt) was to teach him to be as independent as possible. Reading ALL THE TIME and trying to accomplish whatever curriculum she chooses by himself. I even went as far as to say, "make it too easy at first", I believe it is more important to learn the skill of self dependence, than academics.(at first)

For those who don't HOMESCHOOL: I would say the same about jobs at home...everyone has jobs/responsibilities...start off easy at first!!! Than build up the skill or responsibility as they improve. I am a big believer in challenging our kids academically and in family duties...but, if they have no initiative or drive to start with than that is the skill to build on!!!

As uaual...THY WILL BE DONE!!! +JMJ+

HAVE YOU HEARD THE NEWS...

Today I overheard two moms at VBS discuss that there are seven more weeks till school starts...

I got a pit in my stomach at the thought...than I looked at the moms faces...they were filled with joy and laughter!!! I looked at them and smiled, "ohhhh do you guys need to come to my house!!!"

Why is it that some families don't enjoy the time they have with their kids? Homeschoolers or not...Families should treasure the time they have with their kids.

I don't want to step on any toes here...but if you don't like your kids now...wait till they get to be teenagers!!!

We need to reevaluate what kind of people we are raising!!! If we as parents don't love our kids...who will? What kind of future spouses, religious, community helpers, neighbors, or parents, are we raising? These are the parents of our future grandchildren!!!

Any thoughts?

+JMJ+Thy will be done

Balance & Moderation

My parenting/homeschooling methodology...

I have been reading a lot online about different people’s perspectives on parenting and homeschooling methods...I have been married for 19 years and have been a mother/homeschooler for 18 years.So take my advice with a grain of salt...

My husband and I have tried about every different parent strategy as well as about 15 different homeschooling curriculums. We owned a Christian/Catholic bookstore for 10 years and got to pick from the best!

What we have learned in the end is what my old spiritual adviser suggested monthly to me..."BALANCE AND MODERATION".

I know those who know us laugh and say balance and moderation??? 11 kids...and an exercise crazed man??? What kind of balance and moderation is that???...trust me if you only knew how crazy we really are...

We learn from the best...we take what we like from everyone and use what works for us at different stages in our lives, different personalities work well with different approaches; different seasons call for creative methods. Sometimes due to pregnancy, newborns, construction, or other calls of life make us stretch and adjust our "plans".

That is why my husband and I make a perfect team!!! God's design for our family calls us to balance each other out and find moderation in our lives.

The one thing that has gotten us through it all is tenacity and stick-to-itiveness. The good old "JUST DO IT" approach.

I know many people ask me for specific advice and are disappointed when I don't give them a "just add water" answer. Yes, I like different parenting strategies. Yes, I use about 10 different curriculums to meet the needs of my crazy family.

But in the end...we are happy and taking one day at a time.

PAST POST...reminder...

THE ABC AND D'S OF HOME ORGANIZATION

WE NEED TO RECLAIM OUR VOCATION AS WIVES AND MOTHERS

My husband will totally tell you that our house is crazy...it is never all clean at the same time...what a shame, we really enjoy it when it is...another goal!!! When we work on one part of the house...the next one gets destroyed!!! So frustrating...I have tried EVERY organizational tool known to woman and it still doesn't do the work for me...the best thing I have found is just plan get rid of it...not just organize it-pitch it!!! My hubby wants to create disposable clothes.

At this time we are rearranging rooms (sorry eldest wonderful daughter who has to give up her own room to the next sister in line!!!) and getting rid of most of the stuff upstairs. Thanks to the Local order of Sisters near us...who are growing strong...they have taken most of our small bookshelves and dressers.

So we will try to start from scratch up in the pit of yuck...then we shall see how well we manage.

A) ASK FOR HELP: Push away pride, give others the opportunity to receive the graces to serve. stop trying to be super mom!!!
1. God- be specific. The widow in the bible who kept asking the judge...beg!
2. Kids- responsibilities
3. Others-in-laws, godparents, neighbors, people from church, and especially people who ask if you need anything or offer their services. Examples:Carpooling, wash, ironing, pick up groceries, barrow from neighbors.
4. Try not to ask your husband...I want him to be happy to come home, be open to life, and continue to want to homeschool

B) BLESS YOUR FAMILY: Rethink cleaning as blessing your family. BE A PROFESSIONAL OF YOUR HOME!!! Look like a pro too...do your hair, make up, and look nice. (especially for your husband)
1. FLYLADY-
a. Get dressed to your shoes in the morning.
b. Keep your sink clean.
c. At night review next day schedule and lay out your clothes.
d. Declutter (27 fling boogie)
e. Hotspots
f. SHE (sidetracked home executive)

C) CHARTS & CALENDERS: think about what you need help with and schedule yourself and others to do it.
1. Job charts- personalize look at your Husband’s pet peeves (ask)What you wished you could accomplish each day.
2. Calendars- things we forget...Specify a day for errands, etc...Break down your day
(schedule)Planner
Meals
Exercise
Family fun
3. Routine!!!!!

D) DE STRESS YOUR LIFE!!!! This is easier for parents with little kids because they are involved in less activities and homework. BE FLEXIBLE!!! It definitely changes with out state in life...pregnancy, moving, construction, etc...What has helped me: (discern your state in life)
1. Early bed time.
A. gives you time with your spouse
B. gives you one on one time with other kids
C. gives you time to do evening activities
D. get to sleep early yourself (pregnant or nursing)
F. those of you who have lots of children it gives them Quiet time, personal space, and opportunity to read

2. Narrow down unnecessary activities!!!!!
a. discuss with spouse
b. limit/combine with other kids
c. kids appreciate the opportunity more and don’t take for granted. pray about the virtues you want your child to have

3. SERVICE

a. your state in life
1. spouse
2. children-nursery, Sunday school, CCD, sports

b. use your talents
1. offer your services to your pastor
2. volunteer at your child’s school
3. help a new mom out

All these ways take time and discernment. Just because they work for me doesn’t mean they will work for you. Take small steps and laugh alot!

THE ABC AND D'S OF HOME ORGANIZATION

WE NEED TO RECLAIM OUR VOCATION AS WIVES AND MOTHERS

A) ASK FOR HELP: Push away pride, give others the opportunity to receive
the graces to serve. stop trying to be super mom!!!

1. God- be specific. The widow in the bible who kept asking the judge...beg!
2. Kids- responsibilities
3. Others-in-laws, godparents, neighbors, people from church, and especially people who ask if you need anything or offer their services. Examples:
Carpooling, wash, ironing, pick up groceries, barrow from neighbors.
4. Try not to ask your husband...I want him to be happy to come home, be open to life, and continue to want to homeschool

B) BLESS YOUR FAMILY: Rethink cleaning as blessing your family. BE A PROFESSIONAL OF YOUR HOME!!! Look like a pro too...do your hair, make up, and look nice. (especially for your husband)

1. FLYLADY- a. Get dressed to your shoes in the morning.
b. Keep your sink clean.
c. At night review next day schedule and lay out your clothes.
d. Declutter (27 fling boogie)
e. Hotspots
f. SHE (sidetracked home executive)

C) CHARTS & CALENDERS: think about what you need help with and schedule yourself and others to do it.
1. Job charts- personalize
Husband’s pet peeves (ask)
What you wished you could accomplish each day.
2. Calendars- things we forget
Specify a day for errands, etc...
Break down your day (schedule)
Planner
Meals
Exercise
Family fun
3. Routine!!!!!

D) DE STRESS YOUR LIFE!!!! This is easier for parents with little kids because they are involved in less activities and homework. BE FLEXIBLE!!! It definitely changes with out state in life...pregnancy, moving, construction, etc...

What has helped me: (discern your state in life)
1. Early bed time.
A. gives you time with your spouse
B. gives you one on one time with other kids
C. gives you time to do evening activities
D. get to sleep early yourself (pregnant or nursing)
F. those of you who have lots of children it gives them
Quiet time, personal space, and opportunity to read


2. Narrow down unnecessary activities!!!!!
a. discuss with spouse
b. limit/combine with other kids
c. kids appreciate the opportunity more and don’t take for granite
d. pray about the virtues you want your child to have


3. SERVICE
a. your state in life
1. spouse
2. children-nursery, Sunday school, CCD, sports

b. use your talents
1. offer your services to your pastor
2. volunteer at your child’s school
3. help a new mom out



All these ways take time and discernment. Just because they work for me doesn’t mean they will work for you. Take small steps and laugh alot!