Sunday, May 31, 2009

Tips for Teenage Boys on Respecting Girls

Tips for Teenage Boys on Respecting Girls

These tips are useful both in and out of dating relationships both in high school and college. I do not recommend having serious dating relationships in high school. In general it is better to stick to larger groups and any relationship should be paced, chaste, respectful, non-exclusive, and public.

1. Be sincere (don’t try to be somebody you are not…girls see right through this. You are much better off just being yourself)

2. Don’t brag, talk too much about yourself, or speak poorly of others

3. ­Be kind to EVERYONE. (A girl judges whether you’re a good guy not just by how you treat your buddies or herself, but ALL people: the janitors at school, waiters, kids you’re not necessarily friends with, etc.)

4. Be respectful of the rules imposed by a girl’s parents. Every family has different guidelines with respect to movies they’re allowed to watch, parties they’re allowed to attend, curfews, etc. Don’t criticize, make fun of or even worse encourage her to break them, no matter how much you want to spend time with her.

5. When you go up to talk to a girl, make a point to say hello and talk to her friends as well.

6. Don’t expect a girl to hang out with you and ten of your buddies. This can be very uncomfortable for a girl. Ask her to bring a few of her girlfriends along as well or don’t insist that she come over to watch a football game if it will be all guys.

7. Be very selective in the movies you take girls to see. Inappropriate content makes a girl feel very uncomfortable and it is simply not considerate to put her in that position.

8. Be a good listener. Ask questions and allow the girl to talk (don’t dominate the conversation). When a girl has a problem, she needs to talk about it. She is looking for empathy (NOT sympathy) and not necessarily a solution. If she asks for advice give it to her (and give it some thought).

9. Give special attention to etiquette and chivalry:
a. Stand up when she stands up from the table, and stand up when she returns to help her with her chair

b. Hold doors for the girl, especially car doors

c. Give the girl the seat of preference and offer her a seat if there are none readily available

d. Walk a girl to her car if she is driving alone

e. Check on the girl to make sure she gets home safely

f. Come to the door when picking a girl up and meet the parents and come to the door when you drop her off as well

g. Stay out of other girls’ bedrooms and don’t bring them into yours

h. Keep eye contact (if you can’t look her in the eye, look away, not anywhere else)

i. Walk on the outside of the sidewalk (the guy is the protector)

j. Don’t cut off conversation for a social text or call

k. A guy should be the one initiating contact (phone calls, etc.)

l. Give preference to calling over texting and always take care of important business face-to-face
m. Respect girls online and via text the same way you would face-to-face

10. Most importantly, treat a girl with RESPECT. She is not an object, but one of God’s beautiful creatures. Dating and friendship are for getting to know the person rather than for physical intimacy. Girls are created in God’s image the same as guys. If you always try to see a girl the way God does, you won’t ever have a problem treating her with respect.

 From Fr. Michael Sliney,


Friday, May 29, 2009


Balance and Moderation
My parenting/homeschooling methodology…

I have been reading a lot online about different people’s perspectives on parenting and homeschooling methods...I have been married for 20 years and have been a mother/homeschooler for 19 years. So take my advice with a grain of salt...

My husband and I have tried about every different parent strategy as well as about 15 different homeschooling curriculums. We owned a Christian/Catholic bookstore for 10 years and got to pick from the best!

What we have learned in the end is what my old spiritual adviser suggested monthly to me..."BALANCE AND MODERATION".

I know those who know us laugh and say balance and moderation??? 12th child on the way...and an exercise crazed man??? What kind of balance and moderation is that??? me if you only knew how crazy we really are...

We learn from the best...we take what we like from everyone and use what works for us at different stages in our lives, different personalities work well with different approaches; different seasons call for creative methods. Sometimes due to pregnancy, newborns, construction, or other calls of life make us stretch and adjust our "plans".

That is why my husband and I make a perfect team!!! God's design for our family calls us to balance each other out and find moderation in our lives.

The one thing that has gotten us through it all is tenacity and stick-to-itiveness. The good old "JUST DO IT" approach.

I know many people ask me for specific advice and are disappointed when I don't give them a "just add water" answer. Yes, I like different parenting strategies. Yes, I use about 10 different curriculums to meet the needs of my crazy family.

But in the end...we are happy and taking one day at a time.
I have found that in this stressful world, not to mention adding homeschooling to our crazy schedule. In life finding a balance in all areas is important. I will break them into four categories I constantly try to meet: Spiritual, social, academic, and human balance.
Under spiritual balance it is important to raise our children with a love for Christ and His holy mother in an everyday love and respect. This is to make Christ part of your family in good times and in bad. Christ should be part of our joys and our sufferings. Bringing Christ and prayer into our normal everyday life is absolutely essential.
Social balance is important too. Having friends and entertaining in any environment is essential in our family. It may be as simple as friends over to play, clubs meeting at your home, or bringing out the china for a special guest.
Academic balance in our family is pretty crazy. With kids from K through college we roll with the punches and do what we can to keep on track. I find it very important to find time for math and reading, we squeeze in all the other subjects when we can. My older kids (about fourth grade and up) pretty much stay on track with their own school work. I put together my own curriculum, so I can meet each child at their own level and concentrate on their strengths. I usually spend most of my “teaching” with the little guys and “overseeing” everyone and keep the household running. Somehow through the grace of God my kids have turned out pretty smart!!! I just finished the school year with two high school students with an A average (they attend a two day tutorial) and I have the college kid’s grades to prove that God is in control of our schooling!!!
Human balance has been a struggle of mine since I got married. I find it quite difficult to manage a home in the ways that I feel appropriate. I am a pretty poor housewife. Cooking and cleaning have always been a difficult for me. I am constantly trying new ways to manage my home. The best thing I have found to help me manage is keeping balanced and not to get overwhelmed. Besides my amazing husband who accepts me the way I am and helps me constantly, my laid back personality saves me from the overwhelming task of raising 11 children and dealing with my pregnancy. Human balance also reminds me to keep up my appearance as well as the importance of exercise in the state of life I am in. (which is constantly changing)
So my advice in raising a happy balanced family is to be flexible, start each day with an open mind, and beg God for the wisdom to make holy decisions.

Wednesday, May 27, 2009


If you deal with envy issues please read elsewhere!!!

My husband has taken me to Florida for 6 days to celebrate our 20th Wedding Anniversary!!! We have never been away from the kids this long!!! Each year we try to get away for a night or two but never this far and this long.

We left Sunday around 12:30 and my wonderful sister took us to the airport and my two little girls to my other sisters house about an hour away. We left three teenagers home with Geama and baby E, who will be two in August. I think we are more concerned about Geama misbehaving than the kids!!! My super sister in love and her husband took the three middle boys and the babysitting 14 year old girl.

The flight went well and uneventful. We were so excited to be away we probably wouldn't of noticed otherwise!!!

We are staying at my father in loves house in a gated golfing community!!! We got picked up at the airport by my hubby's step mother's dad and his wife. We were not only greeted to a beautiful home but they had flower's and a cute anniversary cake for us!!! I have never been to a gated retirement community before. It is absolutely beautiful and quiet beyond comprehension!!! The attention to detail around here...and there are hardly any people around, not to mention young people!!! The STOP signs and other street signs are sponge painted to match the neighborhood!!! So cute and funny!!!

Did I mention the convertible Mercedes Benz in the garage...this is pretty cool especially when you are used to driving a 15 passenger van or a 9 passenger suburban!!! You should see my hubby and I cruising the streets with my big old pregnant self!!! Our cool factor is way up!!!

Sunday night we went to a Chinese restaurant, went swimming in the home pool, read, watched TV and relaxed!!! When I mentioned the kids to my man, he said, "kids? What KIDS?" At this time I am thinking this is amazing and having a blast!!!

Monday I woke up at 5:30am tossing and turning expecting to see the little guys any time...sweetie goes running and I get dressed. We head out for 8:30 mass down the road and come home, go swimming, read, eat out, go for a walk, read some more, swim, go out to eat, come home take a nap, read, go swimming, watch TV, and go to bed...I can't figure out why I don't totally pass out like I do at home!!! Oh yeah, I haven't been chasing kids and cleaning all day...not to mention the naps I took all day!!! Called all the they even care? Everyone is is raining at poor babysitters are all stuck with kids in doors!!!

Tuesday we went to mass to find out that the on line mass times were we just made a visit to the blessed sacrament!!! We were picked up by "step-grand dad" and his wife for lunch on the water. (YES, we are so spoiled!!!) We came home for a swim, nap, eat leftovers for dinner, a walk, and to watch a movie. I am starting to hate the silence and miss my kids!!! (shhh...don't tell my man!!!)

It is Wednesday and we made it to the correct time for mass. Rob went for a run, I cleaned out my inbox and went for a walk. Now we are sitting like a couple of yuppies (do they still call them that?) at a sandwich/salad shop with our laptops catching up on the real world!!!

We are heading out in a bit to visit with friends who moved here last year and then out to dinner.

More later...I think I need another nap or maybe call the kids again!!!


Friday, May 22, 2009


WHO says homeschoolers can't have an "official" graduation? This was a great day with the full ceremony...My son has been homeschooled for his entire life so this was a big day for him!!! Due to a very busy year of fufilling extra credits...he got to graduate early!!! What a blessing to have this gift to homeschool my wonderful children!!!


Wonderful Busy days...

We give Thee thanks, O Lord, for all Thy gifts which we have received from Thy bounty through Christ our Lord. Amen.





Thursday, May 21, 2009


Last night my husband and I renewed our wedding vows with friends and family. It was a great opportunity to receive the extra graces needed for daily trials!!! (not that we ever have any)

I will see if I can find any other good pictures left...since my fast blogger posted all of these first!!!

So off to clean the house and go to my son's high school graduation!!!

Never a dull moment in this house!!!


Wednesday, May 20, 2009


TODAY is my 20 year wedding anniversary!!!

WOW...has it been a crazy ride!!! Got pregnant on our honeymoon and they kept coming!!! (thank God!!!) Let's see: 13 kids (one miscarriage), not to mention the diapers, nights without sleep, 1 hospital birth, 8 home births, and 2 birth care births, and 3 houses, lots of cars, suburbans, and vans, car accidents!!! Can't forget the many many great memories and laughs we have had and will have!!!

We are heading out for a second honeymoon to Florida with kids all at relatives!!! Wow-it has been since our first honeymoon that we have been alone for more than a night or two together!!!

My husband is amazing, helpful, patient, and did I say human?

I LOVE YOU HONEY!!! Thanks for putting up with me!!!

I look forward to another fantastic 2o!!!


Tuesday, May 19, 2009


This video has been around for awhile...I showed it to my older daughter a couple of years ago, it was time to pull it out to show my next daughter!!! It is very powerful and well done.

May the message of true beauty of Christ shine through to our future generations!!!


Friday, May 15, 2009

House keeping:

I have been asked how I keep my house clean...well after my 8Th i couldn't believe how much time I spent nursing and had to reevaluate some that time I used the flylady and tried to reclaim my home...I try to live day by day to these ideas.

By no means is my houses neat but to those of you without big guys to help try this:

1. leave front room/house clean...everything else whatever (upstairs is last to get clean)
2. ask friends/neighbors/etc to help fold laundry, read to kids/etc... while you clean
3. have kids do it/ the fly lady says a poorly swept kitchen is better than none at gets better when they are older...
4. I do have a lady comes clean my bathrooms once a month...she charges $21 an hour and an older lady help with school for a ministry who charges $5 an hour but I try to pay her more because I love her so; she come about 3 hours a week.
5.I also have had teens over to play with the kids, even 10 year old neighbors who love kids can play with a toddler while I clean up the house.
6. Have a flexible schedule, with a job chart!!!

90% of the time the front room is clean...kinda my haven and the first thing my husband/others see.


Well the other morning I got caught totally off guard...I had early morning unexpected guests. Usually I love "pop in hellos" but this time I looked like a slob, my kitchen area was a disaster...(eggs still in pan, cereal out, stuff on the floor, kids everywhere doing school, and piles of stuff laying around) Pretty much typical but definitely not company ready!!! The worst part was it was my oldest child's gorgeous god-mother who looks like a model and is due with her 3rd the same time I am. Of course she looked typically stunning and me in my jeans and ponytail!!! She hadn't stopped by in years...days of all days!!! To make matters worse...her husband, an ex-boyfriend of mine was with her. So I just welcomed them in and kinda kicked the stuff out of the way!!!

Maybe it will motivate my to keep on top of things more...Just thought I would share some real life blogging with you!!!


Thursday, May 14, 2009


My small success for today:

take little guys on a walk

take middle guys to the library

said the rosary at the table before dinner
I PUT MY SCAPULAR BACK ON...thanks to Danielle's reminder!!! It's been years!!!

IMITATION OF CHRIST: Meditation of the day...for those who are suffering:

The Forty-Eighth Chapter
The Day of Eternity and the Distresses of This Life

The Disciple
O MOST happy mansion of the city above! O most bright day of eternity, which night does not darken, but which the highest truth ever enlightens! O day, ever joyful and ever secure, which never changes its state to the opposite! Oh, that this day shine forth, that all these temporal things come to an end! It envelops the saints all resplendent with heavenly brightness, but it appears far off as through a glass to us wanderers on the earth. The citizens of heaven know how joyful that day is, but the exiled sons of Eve mourn that this one is bitter and tedious.

The days of this life are short and evil, full of grief and distress. Here man is defiled by many sins, ensnared in many passions, enslaved by many fears, and burdened with many cares. He is distracted by many curiosities and entangled in many vanities, surrounded by many errors and worn by many labors, oppressed by temptations, weakened by pleasures, and tortured by want.

Oh, when will these evils end? When shall I be freed from the miserable slavery of vice? When, Lord, shall I think of You alone? When shall I fully rejoice in You? When shall I be without hindrance, in true liberty, free from every grievance of mind and body? When will there be solid peace, undisturbed and secure, inward peace and outward peace, peace secured on every side? O good Jesus, when shall I stand to gaze upon You? When shall I contemplate the glory of Your kingdom? When will You be all in all to me? Oh, when shall I be with You in that kingdom of Yours, which You have prepared for Your beloved from all eternity?

Dear Lord, please keep me close to me find solace in my small struggles and bring peace to those who are undergoing large trials. Give us the grace we need to grow closer to You and You and Your holy will!!!


Wednesday, May 13, 2009

What not to say to your wife:

Go see what Katie found!!!


Tuesday, May 12, 2009

what's for dinner???

Been married for 20 years and still haven't figured out this cooking thing...have tried all sorts of gimmicks from once a month cooking, cool cookbooks, to Internet sites like this. The best advice I can give and live by is simple, simple, simple!!! The kids don't like it when I cook fancy or use special spices and additions...Actually the best cooking advice I can give is having an amazing group of friends and family who cook for you when you have a baby!!! Last baby we had; we had meals cooked for us for over 2 months!!! Now that is a cool cooking solution...and now you know why Rob and I are having our 12Th child!!!

yikes, I am a really bad husband is a great cook...we eat super simple and easy...not organic...(tried this-way too expensive for us)

For example:
pasta (tortellini, ravioli, sausage, meatballs)
beef (roast)
turkey (whole)
chicken (roasted)
breakfast for dinner (eggs, pancakes...)
a ham
pork roast
hamburgers/hot dogs
steak sandwich's
(whatever meat is on sale)

we serve some form of noodles, rice, or potatoes with each meal...some kind of bread, salad or veggie...

dessert every other night or on special feast days...


My son's first mass...

I couldn't pass up the title of this will see why when you see the pictures below!!! Before I get to those...who could pass up my first communicant again. My very wise parish has a May Procession on Mother's Day...the First Communicants get to dress up again. My kids love the opportunity to look so special in front of the entire parish!!! The parish processes to the Grotto of Our Lady of Rock Springs on our parish property. Then the First Communicant's get to give our Lady flowers. So special and such a wonderful Mother's day tradition.

His new missal

His new bible

OK, First Mass: My son Robert who became an alter server on Holy Thursday served his First Mass this weekend!!! Here he is with one of his big brothers and his three mass mentors, some of the older alter servers...two of which are my husband's and my Godsons!!!

Our wonderful pastor!!!

More First Mass pictures!!! Aren't they so cute? The boys are using some of the pieces from the First mass kit I talked about here.

See the holy young one in black? That is sweet J from this Holy Blogger!

Monday, May 11, 2009


In April I became the mom of five teenagers!!!

I know I give my teenagers a hard time...but, I do love them. So far so good...they are a good bunch and arise to their call. Sometimes it is in the middle of the night when the little guys need help and mom and dad can't hear them. (we sleep downstairs) I can never under estimate the love the little guys have for them...THEY ARE SUPERSTARS...when they walk downstairs the little guys cheer!!!

I have always joked with others that they should have kids till they have a 13 year old to leave them all with...half joking. It is such a different world not dragging little guys around and ruining naps. They are always willing to watch the little guys while I run errands. They are great at putting the little guys to bed and giving baths. I don't know what I would do without them.

So here's to my wonderful teenagers!!! I really do love you!!! Sorry for being a nagging mom!!!


Sunday, May 10, 2009



Real Mothers don't eat quiche;
They don't have time to make it.

Real Mothers know that their kitchen utensils
Are probably in the sandbox.

Real Mothers often have sticky floors,
Filthy ovens and happy kids.

Real Mothers know that dried play dough
Doesn't come out of carpets.

Real Mothers don't want to know what
The vacuum just sucked up.

Real Mothers sometimes ask 'Why me?'
And get their answer when a little
Voice says, 'Because I love you best.'

Real Mothers know that a child's growth
Is not measured by height or years or grade...
It is marked by the progression of Mommy to Mom to Mother...

The Images of Mother

4 YEARS OF AGE - My Mommy can do anything!

8 YEARS OF AGE - My Mom knows a lot! A whole lot!

12 YEARS OF AGE - My Mother doesn't really know quite everything.

14 YEARS OF AGE - Naturally, Mother doesn't know that, either.

16 YEARS OF AGE - Mother? She's hopelessly old-fashioned.

18 YEARS OF AGE - That old woman? She's way out of date!

25 YEARS OF AGE - Well, she might know a little bit about it!

35 YEARS OF AGE - Before we decide, let's get Mom's opinion.

45 YEARS OF AGE - Wonder what Mom would have thought about It?

65 YEARS OF AGE - Wish I could talk it over with Mom.

The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure she carries, or the way she combs her hair.

The beauty of a woman must be seen from in her eyes,
Because that is the doorway to her heart,
The place where love resides.
The beauty of a woman is not in a facial mole,
But true beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul.
It is the caring that she lovingly gives, the passion that she
Shows, and the beauty of a woman with passing years only grows!

Saturday, May 9, 2009


My husband and I have always tried to have a date night about once a month. In the early days with little babies and no money it may have just been a walk or dinner together. As our kids got older maybe take-out and watching a movie at home. Then we had teenagers who could babysit and it was a quick bite to eat for lunch, going out to dinner, or maybe a movie.

My love language is much more than flowers that die or Ben & Jerry's Heath Bar Crunch that makes me feel fat, my super amazing hubby gave me the best gift of all this year!!! He hired a woman to come once a month to clean our three bathrooms!!! She is wonderful, she cleans where we never would think of cleaning and spends so much time and energy on it. We all love the smell of "Dorie" and my hubby comes home from work on the day she has come and says, "I smell Dorie!". The kids who have bathroom duty that day love her too. It is the best $45 we spend each month!!!

1. Affirmation
2. Quality Time
3. Gifts
4. Service
5. Physical Touch

These tips have helped me learn how to show each of my children and my husband how much I love and appreciate them.

THANKS HONEY your the best!!!


Friday, May 8, 2009

IMITATION OF CHRIST: Meditation of the day...

The Forty-Seventh Chapter
Every Trial Must Be Borne for the Sake of Eternal Life (part two)

The Voice of Christ

If you could see the everlasting crowns of the saints in heaven, and the great glory wherein they now rejoice—they who were once considered contemptible in this world and, as it were, unworthy of life itself—you would certainly humble yourself at once to the very earth, and seek to be subject to all rather than to command even one. Nor would you desire the pleasant days of this life, but rather be glad to suffer for God, considering it your greatest gain to be counted as nothing among men.

Oh, if these things appealed to you and penetrated deeply into your heart, how could you dare to complain even once? Ought not all trials be borne for the sake of everlasting life? In truth, the loss or gain of God’s kingdom is no small matter.

Lift up your countenance to heaven, then. Behold Me, and with Me all My saints. They had great trials in this life, but now they rejoice. They are consoled. Now they are safe and at rest. And they shall abide with Me for all eternity in the kingdom of My Father.

Dear Lord, help me remember to offer up my small trials for the purity of my children and be strong against the temptations I encounter.


Wednesday, May 6, 2009

First Communion Day...

First Communion Day is always an exciting time in our house!!! Everyone running around trying to make the day perfect for the sweet little darling!!!

Here is a before Communion picture:

Here is an after Communion picture: (can't you see the holiness shining through!!!)

Getting love from the baby...

It wouldn't be a sacrament with out our favorite Sisters from the Servant's of the Lord to celebrate with us!!!

And our favorite associate pastor to stop by for a hello!!!

Did I forget to mention the day of rain, rain, and more rain...with about 60 people stuffed in our house? It was still a blast and our sweet FIRST COMMUNICANT had a wonderful day!!!


IMITATION OF CHRIST: Meditation of the day...

The Forty-Seventh Chapter
Every Trial Must Be Borne for the Sake of Eternal Life (PART ONE)

The Voice of Christ
MY CHILD, do not let the labors which you have taken up for My sake break you, and do not let troubles, from whatever source, cast you down; but in everything let My promise strengthen and console you. I am able to reward you beyond all means and measure.

You will not labor here long, nor will you always be oppressed by sorrows. Wait a little while and you will see a speedy end of evils. The hour will come when all labor and trouble shall be no more. All that passes away with time is trivial.

What you do, do well. Work faithfully in My vineyard. I will be your reward. Write, read, sing, mourn, keep silence, pray, and bear hardships like a man. Eternal life is worth all these and greater battles. Peace will come on a day which is known to the Lord, and then there shall be no day or night as at present but perpetual light, infinite brightness, lasting peace, and safe repose. Then you will not say: “Who shall deliver me from the body of this death?” nor will you cry: “Woe is me, because my sojourn is prolonged.” For then death will be banished, and there will be health unfailing. There will be no anxiety then, but blessed joy and sweet, noble companionship.

Dear Lord, thank you for this time with you. Thank you for the reminder of the end to suffering. Keep me on task and help me offer up my tiny suffering for Your holy will!!!


Tuesday, May 5, 2009


SOCKS are the worst for me and probably any home on earth!!! I have tried everything from individual sock bags, rubber bands, labeling, same color, and these sock clips. The sock clips work if: your kids can open them and remember to put them on...they are great but like all "gadgets" nothing is perfect. Danielle Bean uses these sock cops and they look easier for little hands...I guess ask her what she thinks...

My best secret is my MOTHER IN LOVE...she comes about once a month and takes my big bag of white socks home and matches what she can. I also have a bag of just black socks...

For my colored socks I put them a hanging bag with a color in each slot. Like red in one bag, pink in one, blue, yellow/orange/tan/grey in one, something like that. I use this bag and it works if I remember to put the socks in there.

Like I said no gadget works perfect!!! So when I find a great sale on socks...I grab all I can get!!!

The most resent sale at OLD NAVY was great. Yesterday I had my MOTHER IN LOVE go by and pick up all they had!!! 60 sets of three-99cents a set!!! So I got 180 pairs of sock for $62 bucks!!! The kids love socks!!! They ask for them for Christmas and birthdays---they are so desperate!!! So when they saw the latest bundle they were siked!!! So far I got the three middle boys (11, 9, 7) getting each their own colored rim (navy for 11, grey for 9, and tan for 7)...we shall see how it goes!!!

The girls are still deciding what color will work for them and the 21 month old is thrilled to not have to stuff his fat feet into those baby socks that I keep thinking he fits into!!!

IMITATION OF CHRIST: Meditation of the day...Slander

He who does not keep his heart within him, and who does not have God before his eyes is easily moved by a word of disparagement. He who trusts in Me, on the other hand, and who has no desire to stand by his own judgment, will be free from the fear of men. For I am the judge and discerner of all secrets. I know how all things happen. I know who causes injury and who suffers it. From Me that word proceeded, and with My permission it happened, that out of many hearts thoughts may be revealed. I shall judge the guilty and the innocent; but I have wished beforehand to try them both by secret judgment.

The testimony of man is often deceiving, but My judgment is true—it will stand and not be overthrown. It is hidden from many and made known to but a few. Yet it is never mistaken and cannot be mistaken even though it does not seem right in the eyes of the unwise.

To Me, therefore, you ought to come in every decision, not depending on your own judgment. For the just man will not be disturbed, no matter what may befall him from God. Even if an unjust charge be made against him he will not be much troubled. Neither will he exult vainly if through others he is justly acquitted. He considers that it is I Who search the hearts and inmost thoughts of men, that I do not judge according to the face of things or human appearances. For what the judgment of men considers praiseworthy is often worthy of blame in My sight.

The Disciple
O Lord God, just Judge, strong and patient, You Who know the weakness and depravity of men, be my strength and all my confidence, for my own conscience is not sufficient for me. You know what I do not know, and, therefore, I ought to humble myself whenever I am accused and bear it meekly. Forgive me, then, in Your mercy for my every failure in this regard, and give me once more the grace of greater endurance. Better to me is Your abundant mercy in obtaining pardon than the justice which I imagine in defending the secrets of my conscience. And though I am not conscious to myself of any fault, yet I cannot thereby justify myself, because without Your mercy no man living will be justified in Your sight.

Lord, please protect us from slander and to hold fast to your truth!!! Give us wise judgement and kind words towards others!!!


Saturday, May 2, 2009

IMITATION OF CHRIST: Meditation of the day...Slander

The Forty-Sixth Chapter
Trust in God Against Slander

The Voice of Christ

MY CHILD, stand firm and trust in Me. For what are words but words? They fly through the air but hurt not a stone. If you are guilty, consider how you would gladly amend. If you are not conscious of any fault, think that you wish to bear this for the sake of God. It is little enough for you occasionally to endure words, since you are not yet strong enough to bear hard blows.

And why do such small matters pierce you to the heart, unless because you are still carnal and pay more heed to men than you ought? You do not wish to be reproved for your faults and you seek shelter in excuses because you are afraid of being despised. But look into yourself more thoroughly and you will learn that the world is still alive in you, in a vain desire to please men. For when you shrink from being abased and confounded for your failings, it is plain indeed that you are not truly humble or truly dead to the world, and that the world is not crucified in you.

Listen to My word, and you will not value ten thousand words of men. Behold, if every malicious thing that could possibly be invented were uttered against you, what harm could it do if you ignored it all and gave it no more thought than you would a blade of grass? Could it so much as pluck one hair from your head?

Dear Lord, slander is a dangerous thing. Help me to dedicate my thoughts, words, and actions to you. Forgive me when I am uncharitable and help me to think before I speak. Give me strength against the fear of not being liked by others...

Litany of Humility

O Jesus! meek and humble of heart, hear me
From the desire of being esteemed,
From the desire of being loved,
From the desire of being extolled,
From the desire of being honored,
From the desire of being praised,
From the desire of being preferred,
From the desire of being consulted,
From the desire of being approved,
Deliver me, Jesus.
From the fear of being humiliated,
From the fear of being despised,
From the fear of suffering rebukes,
From the fear of being calumniated,
From the fear of being forgotten,
From the fear of being ridiculed,
From the fear of being wronged,
From the fear of being suspected,
Deliver me, Jesus.
That others may be loved more than I,
That others may be esteemed more than I,
That in the opinion of the world, others may increase,
and I may decrease
That others may be chosen and I set aside,
That others may be praised and I unnoticed,
That others may become holier than I, provided that I may
become as holy as I should,
Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.

Imprimatur: +James A. McNulty - Bishop of Paterson, N.J.