IMITATION OF CHRIST: meditation of the day-

Imitation of CHRIST (it has been awhile) part three:

The Disciple

Lord Jesus, as You have said, so be it, and what You have promised, let it be my lot to win. I have received the cross, from Your hand I have received it. I will carry it, carry it even unto death as You have laid it upon me. Truly, the life of a good religious man is a cross, but it leads to paradise. We have begun—we may not go back, nor may we leave off.

Take courage, brethren, let us go forward together and Jesus will be with us. For Jesus’ sake we have taken this cross. For Jesus’ sake let us persevere with it. He will be our help as He is also our leader and guide. Behold, our King goes before us and will fight for us. Let us follow like men. Let no man fear any terrors. Let us be prepared to meet death valiantly in battle. Let us not suffer our glory to be blemished by fleeing from the Cross.

Lord help me persevere through suffering. Guide me closer to you. Help me prepare my heart this advent TO BE READY TO CELEBRATE YOUR BIRTH.

THY WILL BE DONE!!! +JMJ+

The Forty-Ninth Chapter
The Desire of Eternal Life; the Great Rewards Promised to Those Who Struggle (part one)

The Voice of Christ
MY CHILD, when you feel the desire for everlasting happiness poured out upon you from above, and when you long to depart out of the tabernacle of the body that you may contemplate My glory without threat of change, open wide your heart and receive this holy inspiration with all eagerness. Give deepest thanks to the heavenly Goodness which deals with you so understandingly, visits you so mercifully, stirs you so fervently, and sustains you so powerfully lest under your own weight you sink down to earthly things. For you obtain this not by your own thought or effort, but simply by the condescension of heavenly grace and divine regard. And the purpose of it is that you may advance in virtue and in greater humility, that you may prepare yourself for future trials, that you may strive to cling to Me with all the affection of your heart, and may serve Me with a fervent will.

My child, often, when the fire is burning the flame does not ascend without smoke. Likewise, the desires of some burn toward heavenly things, and yet they are not free from temptations of carnal affection. Therefore, it is not altogether for the pure honor of God that they act when they petition Him so earnestly. Such, too, is often your desire which you profess to be so strong. For that which is alloyed with self-interest is not pure and perfect.

Ask, therefore, not for what is pleasing and convenient to yourself, but for what is acceptable to Me and is for My honor, because if you judge rightly, you ought to prefer and follow My will, not your own desire or whatever things you wish.

I know your longings and I have heard your frequent sighs. Already you wish to be in the liberty of the glory of the sons of God. Already you desire the delights of the eternal home, the heavenly land that is full of joy. But that hour is not yet come. There remains yet another hour, a time of war, of labor, and of trial. You long to be filled with the highest good, but you cannot attain it now. I am that sovereign Good. Await Me, until the kingdom of God shall come.

You must still be tried on earth, and exercised in many things. Consolation will sometimes be given you, but the complete fullness of it is not granted. Take courage, therefore, and be strong both to do and to suffer what is contrary to nature.

Most of the people I come in contact with do not undergo deep suffering. What most of us do encounter is the daily trials and inconveniences that annoy us. It is through persevering through these small sufferings that we can one day endure trials that we feel would be impossible to deal with...(ex. the lose of a loved one, sickness, etc...) Then we are given the opportunity to practice our faith and grow closer to Christ.

May those who undergo suffering find peace with our Lord and the rest of us support and pray for them. That we too one day will have the strength to endure the unimaginable.

THY WILL BE DONE!!! +JMJ+

IMITATION OF CHRIST: Meditation of the day...for those who are suffering:

IMITATION OF CHRIST: Meditation of the day...for those who are suffering:
The Forty-Eighth Chapter The Day of Eternity and the Distresses of This Life (part two)

I am left poor and exiled in a hostile land, where every day sees wars and very great misfortunes. Console my banishment, assuage my sorrow. My whole desire is for You. Whatever solace this world offers is a burden to me. I desire to enjoy You intimately, but I cannot attain to it. I wish to cling fast to heavenly things, but temporal affairs and unmortified passions bear me down. I wish in mind to be above all things, but I am forced by the flesh to be unwillingly subject to them. Thus, I fight with myself, unhappy that I am, and am become a burden to myself, while my spirit seeks to rise upward and my flesh to sink downward. Oh, what inward suffering I undergo when I consider heavenly things; when I pray, a multitude of carnal thoughts rush upon me!

O my God, do not remove Yourself far from me, and depart not in anger from Your servant. Dart forth Your lightning and disperse them; send forth Your arrows and let the phantoms of the enemy be put to flight. Draw my senses toward You and make me forget all worldly things. Grant me the grace to cast away quickly all vicious imaginings and to scorn them. Aid me, O heavenly Truth, that no vanity may move me. Come, heavenly Sweetness, and let all impurity fly from before Your face.

Pardon me also, and deal mercifully with me, as often as I think of anything besides You in prayer. For I confess truly that I am accustomed to be very much distracted. Very often I am not where bodily I stand or sit; rather, I am where my thoughts carry me. Where my thoughts are, there am I; and frequently my thoughts are where my love is. That which naturally delights, or is by habit pleasing, comes to me quickly. Hence You Who are Truth itself, have plainly said: “For where your treasure is, there is your heart also.” If I love heaven, I think willingly of heavenly things. If I love the world, I rejoice at the happiness of the world and grieve at its troubles. If I love the flesh, I often imagine things that are carnal. If I love the spirit, I delight in thinking of spiritual matters. For whatever I love, I am willing to speak and hear about.

Blessed is the man who for Your sake, O Lord, dismisses all creatures, does violence to nature, crucifies the desires of the flesh in fervor of spirit, so that with serene conscience he can offer You a pure prayer and, having excluded all earthly things inwardly and outwardly, becomes worthy to enter into the heavenly choirs.

Lord, help my treasure be You and my mind and my heart stay focused on Your holy will!!!

THY WILL BE DONE!!! +JMJ+

IMITATION OF CHRIST: Meditation of the day...for those who are suffering:

The Forty-Eighth Chapter
The Day of Eternity and the Distresses of This Life

The Disciple
O MOST happy mansion of the city above! O most bright day of eternity, which night does not darken, but which the highest truth ever enlightens! O day, ever joyful and ever secure, which never changes its state to the opposite! Oh, that this day shine forth, that all these temporal things come to an end! It envelops the saints all resplendent with heavenly brightness, but it appears far off as through a glass to us wanderers on the earth. The citizens of heaven know how joyful that day is, but the exiled sons of Eve mourn that this one is bitter and tedious.

The days of this life are short and evil, full of grief and distress. Here man is defiled by many sins, ensnared in many passions, enslaved by many fears, and burdened with many cares. He is distracted by many curiosities and entangled in many vanities, surrounded by many errors and worn by many labors, oppressed by temptations, weakened by pleasures, and tortured by want.

Oh, when will these evils end? When shall I be freed from the miserable slavery of vice? When, Lord, shall I think of You alone? When shall I fully rejoice in You? When shall I be without hindrance, in true liberty, free from every grievance of mind and body? When will there be solid peace, undisturbed and secure, inward peace and outward peace, peace secured on every side? O good Jesus, when shall I stand to gaze upon You? When shall I contemplate the glory of Your kingdom? When will You be all in all to me? Oh, when shall I be with You in that kingdom of Yours, which You have prepared for Your beloved from all eternity?

Dear Lord, please keep me close to you...help me find solace in my small struggles and bring peace to those who are undergoing large trials. Give us the grace we need to grow closer to You and You and Your holy will!!!

THY WILL BE DONE!!! +JMJ+

IMITATION OF CHRIST: Meditation of the day...

The Seventeenth Chapter
All Our Care is to Be Placed in God

The Voice of Christ
MY CHILD, allow me to do what I will with you. I know what is best for you. You think as a man; you feel in many things as human affection persuades.

The Disciple
Lord, what You say is true. Your care for me is greater than all the care I can take of myself. For he who does not cast all his care upon You stands very unsafely. If only my will remain right and firm toward You, Lord, do with me whatever pleases You. For whatever You shall do with me can only be good.

If You wish me to be in darkness, I shall bless You. And if You wish me to be in light, again I shall bless You. If You stoop down to comfort me, I shall bless You, and if You wish me to be afflicted, I shall bless You forever.

The Voice of Christ
My child, this is the disposition which you should have if you wish to walk with Me. You should be as ready to suffer as to enjoy. You should as willingly be destitute and poor as rich and satisfied.

The Disciple
O Lord, I shall suffer willingly for Your sake whatever You wish to send me. I am ready to accept from Your hand both good and evil alike, the sweet and the bitter together, sorrow with joy; and for all that happens to me I am grateful. Keep me from all sin and I will fear neither death nor hell. Do not cast me out forever nor blot me out of the Book of Life, and whatever tribulation befalls will not harm me.

Dear Lord, help me to say and mean...the prayer above. I am so weak and I do so love the many consolations you send me. I am a selfish and spoiled brat, thank you for all you have given me and my family. Send me Your Spirit so I can be strong during sufferings and temptations.

THY WILL BE DONE!!!+JMJ+

IMITATION OF CHRIST: Meditation of the day...

The Ninth Chapter
All Things should be Referred to God as their Last End

The Voice of Christ (part two)

From Me the small and the great, the poor and the rich draw the water of life as from a living fountain, and they who serve Me willingly and freely shall receive grace upon grace. He who wishes to glory in things apart from Me, however, or to delight in some good as his own, shall not be grounded in true joy or gladdened in his heart, but shall be burdened and distressed in many ways. Hence you ought not to attribute any good to yourself or ascribe virtue to any man, but give all to God without Whom man has nothing.

I have given all things. I will that all be returned to Me again, and I exact most strictly a return of thanks. This is the truth by which vainglory is put to flight.

Where heavenly grace and true charity enter in, there neither envy nor narrowness of heart nor self-love will have place. Divine love conquers all and enlarges the powers of the soul.

If you are truly wise, you will rejoice only in Me, because no one is good except God alone, Who is to be praised above all things and above all to be blessed.

***Divine love conquers all and enlarges the powers of the soul. Oh yea...now I remember!!!

IMITATION OF CHRIST: Meditation of the day...

The Fifth Chapter
The Wonderful Effect of Divine Love (part Four)

The Disciple

Love is swift, sincere, kind, pleasant, and delightful. Love is strong, patient and faithful, prudent, long-suffering, and manly. Love is never self-seeking, for in whatever a person seeks himself there he falls from love. Love is circumspect, humble, and upright. It is neither soft nor light, nor intent upon vain things. It is sober and chaste, firm and quiet, guarded in all the senses. Love is subject and obedient to superiors. It is mean and contemptible in its own eyes, devoted and thankful to God; always trusting and hoping in Him even when He is distasteful to it, for there is no living in love without sorrow. He who is not ready to suffer all things and to stand resigned to the will of the Beloved is not worthy to be called a lover. A lover must embrace willingly all that is difficult and bitter for the sake of the Beloved, and he should not turn away from Him because of adversities.

I had a very wise mentor when I was first married who gave me some very helpful advice about
1 Corinthians 13; she suggested for an examination on my love to others, (my husband) to put my name everywhere that love was. For example: Love is patient...instead put Sam is patient. It may sound silly but it was (and is) a very helpful exercise in my life!!! I fail miserably at it...but, it keeps me on my knees praying for God's mercy and help!!!

So I thought I would try it with this passage from Imitation of Christ for my meditation today and maybe my new nightly exam.

SAM IS: (FEEL FREE TO COPY AND USE WITH YOUR NAME...)
Swift
Sincere
Kind
Pleasant
Delightful
Strong
Patient
Faithful
Prudent
Long-suffering- enduring injury, trouble, or provocation long and patiently
Never self-seeking
Circumspect- watchful and discreet; cautious; prudent
Humble
Upright
Sober and chaste
Firm and quiet
Guarded in all the senses
Subject and obedient to superiors
Mean and contemptible in its own eyes- deserving of or held in contempt; despicable
Devoted and thankful to God
Trusting and hoping in Him

Thomas a Kempis says it so well:
He who is not ready to suffer all things and to stand resigned to the will of the Beloved is not worthy to be called a lover. A lover must embrace willingly all that is difficult and bitter for the sake of the Beloved, and he should not turn away from Him because of adversities.

This is alot to ponder on a Saturday morning...I think I will use it all weekend and than some...

THY WILL BE DONE!!!+JMJ+

IMITATION OF CHRIST: Meditation of the day...

The Royal Road of the Holy Cross (part nine...final chapter)

No man is fit to enjoy heaven unless he has resigned himself to suffer hardship for Christ. Nothing is more acceptable to God, nothing more helpful for you on this earth than to suffer willingly for Christ. If you had to make a choice, you ought to wish rather to suffer for Christ than to enjoy many consolations, for thus you would be more like Christ and more like all the saints. Our merit and progress consist not in many pleasures and comforts but rather in enduring great afflictions and sufferings.

If, indeed, there were anything better or more useful for man’s salvation than suffering, Christ would have shown it by word and example. But He clearly exhorts the disciples who follow Him and all who wish to follow Him to carry the cross, saying: “If any man will come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow Me.” Luke 9:23.

When, therefore, we have read and searched all that has been written, let this be the final conclusion—that through much suffering we must enter into the kingdom of God.

That says it all!!!

THY WILL BE DONE!!!+JMJ+

IMITATION OF CHRIST: Meditation of the day...

Although you were taken to the third heaven with Paul, you were not thereby insured against suffering. Jesus said: “I will show him how great things he must suffer for My name’s sake.” Acts 9:16 (It kinda sounds like a punishment; it is a gift to share in the sufferings with Christ. I feel sooooo inadequate to talk about suffering...I do know in my tiny discomforts in life...that I some how feel closer and wiser in the end.)

To suffer, then, remains your lot, if you mean to love Jesus and serve Him forever.
If you were but worthy to suffer something for the name of Jesus, what great glory would be in store for you, what great joy to all the saints of God, what great edification to those about you! (I know a few people that suffer silently...just being around them makes me feel closer to Christ.) For all men praise patience though there are few who wish to practice it. (so true!!!)
With good reason, then, ought you to be willing to suffer a little for Christ since many suffer much more for the world.

Realize that you must lead a dying life; the more a man dies to himself, the more he begins to live unto God.

"Love Jesus and serve Him forever"...my soul desire!!!

THY WILL BE DONE!!! +JMJ+

IMITATION OF CHRIST: Meditation of the day...

The Royal Road of the Holy Cross (part six)

To carry the cross, to love the cross, to chastise the body and bring it to subjection, to flee honors, to endure contempt gladly, to despise self and wish to be despised, to suffer any adversity and loss, to desire no prosperous days on earth—this is not man’s way. If you rely upon yourself, you can do none of these things, but if you trust in the Lord, strength will be given you from heaven and the world and the flesh will be made subject to your word. You will not even fear your enemy, the devil, if you are armed with faith and signed with the cross of Christ.

Set yourself, then, like a good and faithful servant of Christ, to bear bravely the cross of your Lord, Who out of love was crucified for you. Be ready to suffer many adversities and many kinds of trouble in this miserable life, for troublesome and miserable life will always be, no matter where you are; and so you will find it wherever you may hide. Thus it must be; and there is no way to evade the trials and sorrows of life but to bear them.

(We need to endure all sufferings for Christ, trusting that Christ will give us strength. There is no way to run from suffering, so prepare your soul now; while we are strong, so to better fight in the great battle when we are weak!!!)

Thy Will Be Done!!!+JMJ+

IMITATION OF CHRIST: Meditation of the day...

I am attempting to use a different on line version of the Imitation of Christ in hope to make it a little easier to read and in some cases this version tells the reader where other quotes are taken from. I hope it is more fruitful!!! It has been said...(don't know if it is or was true) that the Imitation has remained, after the Bible, the most widely read book in the world. I do find it one of the best sources of meditation in my spiritual journey.

The Royal Road of the Holy Cross (part five)

Yet such a man, though afflicted in many ways, is not without hope of consolation, because he knows that great reward is coming to him for bearing his cross. And when he carries it willingly, every pang of tribulation is changed into hope of solace from God. Besides, the more the flesh is distressed by affliction, so much the more is the spirit strengthened by inward grace. Not infrequently a man is so strengthened by his love of trials and hardship in his desire to conform to the cross of Christ, that he does not wish to be without sorrow or pain, since he believes he will be the more acceptable to God if he is able to endure more and more grievous things for His sake.

It is the grace of Christ, and not the virtue of man, which can and does bring it about that through fervor of spirit frail flesh learns to love and to gain what it naturally hates and shuns.

This section definitely sounds more doable and positive...so let us endure our sufferings with joy and beg for the graces to grow closer to Christ because of them.

IMITATION OF CHRIST: Meditation of the day...

THE ROYAL ROAD OF THE HOLY CROSS (part four)

If you carry the cross willingly, it will carry and lead you to the desired goal where indeed there shall be no more suffering, but here there shall be. If you carry it unwillingly, you create a burden for yourself and increase the load, though still you have to bear it. If you cast away one cross, you will find another and perhaps a heavier one. Do you expect to escape what no mortal man can ever avoid? Which of the saints was without a cross or trial on this earth? Not even Jesus Christ, our Lord, Whose every hour on earth knew the pain of His passion. "It behooveth Christ to suffer, and to rise again from the dead, . . . and so enter into his glory." How is it that you look for another way than this, the royal way of the holy cross? (If we can possibly find the strength to accept it, we will be able to better embrace the suffering and use it for good)

The whole life of Christ was a cross and a martyrdom, and do you seek rest and enjoyment for yourself? (rest-yes...just thinking of sleep makes me smile) You deceive yourself, you are mistaken if you seek anything but to suffer, for this mortal life is full of miseries and marked with crosses on all sides. Indeed, the more spiritual progress a person makes, so much heavier will he frequently find the cross, because as his love increases, the pain of his exile also increases. (That isn't very consoling...if we accept the little crosses with great strength, than when we get to the big ones we will be better equipped to deal with them...hopefully. I have asked God for years to give me the grace to be able to cope with whatever suffering I will need to endure and use it for HIS glory and my sanctification.)

IMITATION OF CHRIST: Meditation of the day...

THE ROYAL ROAD OF THE HOLY CROSS (part three)...prepare your self for an interesting meditation on suffering...

Either you will experience bodily pain or you will undergo tribulation of spirit in your soul. At times you will be forsaken by God, at times troubled by those about you and, what is worse, you will often grow weary of yourself. You cannot escape, you cannot be relieved by any remedy or comfort but must bear with it as long as God wills. For He wishes you to learn to bear trial without consolation, to submit yourself wholly to Him that you may become more humble through suffering. No one understands the passion of Christ so thoroughly or heartily as the man whose lot it is to suffer the like himself.

The cross, therefore, is always ready; it awaits you everywhere. No matter where you may go, you cannot escape it, for wherever you go you take yourself with you and shall always find yourself. Turn where you will -- above, below, without, or within -- you will find a cross in everything, and everywhere you must have patience if you would have peace within and merit an eternal crown.

(Now that I have shared this positive message, I must say that it is important to embrace the small crosses in our lives, so when the big trials come we will be better prepared. This meditation sounds like it was written for JOB. I hope it gives us solace not dispair. We are sons and daughters of the King, so rejoice and find peace within so we can merit an eternal crown!!!)

IMITATION OF CHRIST: Meditation of the day...

THE ROYAL ROAD OF THE HOLY CROSS (part two)

Take up your cross, therefore, and follow Jesus, and you shall enter eternal life. He Himself opened the way before you in carrying His cross, and upon it He died for you, that you, too, might take up your cross and long to die upon it. If you die with Him, you shall also live with Him, and if you share His suffering, you shall also share His glory.

Behold, in the cross is everything, and upon your dying on the cross everything depends. There is no other way to life and to true inward peace than the way of the holy cross and daily mortification. Go where you will, seek what you will, you will not find a higher way, nor a less exalted but safer way, than the way of the holy cross. Arrange and order everything to suit your will and judgment, and still you will find that some suffering must always be borne, willingly or unwillingly, and thus you will always find the cross.

(It is so hard to share thoughts on suffering. We all have our different crosses and many of us will have to bear much difficulty in the future. The only advice and hope is to grasp to our relationship with Christ during the trials and confusion, so we will be on top again with Christ at our side. No one can understand or council on the sufferings of others very well. The best advice I can give is to participate in the sacraments frequently and find a holy spiritual advisor.)

IMITATION OF CHRIST: Meditation of the day...

This week we are finishing up with Book Two, The Interior Life. It is the longest one yet and it will probably take me at least a week to go through it. If you want further instruction in the Imitation of Christ, please get a copy of it at any bookstore, library, or read it online.

THE ROYAL ROAD OF THE HOLY CROSS (part one)

TO MANY the saying, "Deny thyself, take up thy cross and follow Me," seems hard, but it will be much harder to hear that final word: "Depart from Me, ye cursed, into everlasting fire." Those who hear the word of the cross and follow it willingly now, need not fear that they will hear of eternal damnation on the day of judgment. This sign of the cross will be in the heavens when the Lord comes to judge. Then all the servants of the cross, who during life made themselves one with the Crucified, will draw near with great trust to Christ, the judge.

Why, then, do you fear to take up the cross when through it you can win a kingdom? In the cross is salvation, in the cross is life, in the cross is protection from enemies, in the cross is infusion of heavenly sweetness, in the cross is strength of mind, in the cross is joy of spirit, in the cross is highest virtue, in the cross is perfect holiness. There is no salvation of soul nor hope of everlasting life but in the cross. (In my small crosses, I have gone to a new level in my faith, a new understanding, a new deeper relationship with my God)

(So as I see it...we get: salvation, life, protection, heavenly sweetness, strength of mind, joy,virtue, and holiness!!! Our God is pretty awesome to give us these many graces!!!)

IMITATION OF CHRIST: Meditation of the day...

APPRECIATING GOD'S GRACE (part one)

WHY do you look for rest when you were born to work? Resign yourself to patience rather than to comfort, to carrying your cross rather than to enjoyment. (I should just stop here and meditate on this for the next year...it is OK to rest, be comfortable, and have enjoyment. We just need to find balance in our state in life for work, patience, and suffering.)

What man in the world, if he could always have them, would not readily accept consolation and spiritual joy, benefits which excel all earthly delights and pleasures of the body? The latter, indeed, are either vain or base, while spiritual joys, born of virtue and infused by God into pure minds, are alone truly pleasant and noble. (what perfect advice on the feast of Padre Pio)

Now, since the moment of temptation is always nigh, since false freedom of mind and overconfidence in self are serious obstacles to these visitations from heaven, a man can never enjoy them just as he wishes.

God does well in giving the grace of consolation, but man does evil in not returning everything gratefully to God. Thus, the gifts of grace cannot flow in us when we are ungrateful to the Giver, when we do not return them to the Fountainhead. Grace is always given to him who is duly grateful, and what is wont to be given the humble will be taken away from the proud.

I do not desire consolation that robs me of contrition, nor do I care for contemplation that leads to pride, for not all that is high is holy, nor is all that is sweet good, nor every desire pure, nor all that is dear to us pleasing to God. I accept willingly the grace whereby I become more humble and contrite, more willing to renounce self. (Dear Lord, grant me this grace and the strength to be grateful for it!!!)

THY WILL BE DONE!!! +JMJ+

IMITATION OF CHRIST: Meditation of the day...

Meditation (part 3)

Why do you look about here when this is not the place of your repose? Dwell rather upon heaven and give but a passing glance to all earthly things. They all pass away, and you together with them. Take care, then, that you do not cling to them lest you be entrapped and perish. Fix your mind on the Most High, and pray unceasingly to Christ.

If you do not know how to meditate on heavenly things, direct your thoughts to Christ's passion and willingly behold His sacred wounds. If you turn devoutly to the wounds and precious stigmata of Christ, you will find great comfort in suffering, you will mind but little the scorn of men, and you will easily bear their slanderous talk.

When Christ was in the world, He was despised by men; in the hour of need He was forsaken by acquaintances and left by friends to the depths of scorn. He was willing to suffer and to be despised; do you dare to complain of anything? He had enemies and defamers; do you want everyone to be your friend, your benefactor? How can your patience be rewarded if no adversity test it? How can you be a friend of Christ if you are not willing to suffer any hardship? Suffer with Christ and for Christ if you wish to reign with Him.

***The meditations on suffering always leave me pondering...so I am going to ponder...while I sweep the kitchen, do the dishes, 10 loads of laundry, clean the downstairs, make my bed, and try to shower!!!

THY WILL BE DONE!!!+JMJ+

IMITATION OF CHRIST: meditation of the day...

SORROW OF HEART (part two)

Consider yourself unworthy of divine solace and deserving rather of much tribulation. When a man is perfectly contrite, the whole world is bitter and wearisome to him.
A good man always finds enough over which to mourn and weep; whether he thinks of himself or of his neighbor he knows that no one lives here without suffering, and the closer he examines himself the more he grieves. (my first experience with spiritual direction was like this. I told my holy advisor that after months of going to him, I felt worse. He explained that my life was like a window and God is the light the closer I get to him the better I see the smudges!!!)

The sins and vices in which we are so entangled that we can rarely apply ourselves to the contemplation of heaven are matters for just sorrow and inner remorse. (we need to make ourselves aware of our vices so to prepare ourselves for strength against them-virtues overcoming our vices)

I do not doubt that you would correct yourself more earnestly if you would think more of an early death than of a long life. And if you pondered in your heart the future pains of hell or of purgatory, I believe you would willingly endure labor (I could talk days about this) and trouble and would fear no hardship. But since these thoughts never pierce the heart and since we are enamored of flattering pleasure, we remain very cold and indifferent. Our wretched body complains so easily because our soul is altogether too lifeless. (I need to embrace the little crosses in life so to be better prepared for the big ones)

Pray humbly to the Lord, therefore, that He may give you the spirit of contrition and say with the Prophet: "Feed me, Lord, with the bread of mourning and give me to drink of tears in full measure." (that is a tough prayer to say...just as when I was a new mom I had to spend a long time in front of the blessed sacrament to be able to say, "death before mortal sin"{like St. Blanche and St. Dominic Savio's mom} about myself and my children)

IMITATION OF CHRIST: meditation of the day...

SORROW OF HEART (part one)
IF YOU wish to make progress in virtue, live in the fear (love and respect) of the Lord, do not look for too much freedom, discipline your senses, and shun inane silliness. (myhome!!!)Sorrow opens the door to many a blessing which dissoluteness usually destroys. (those I know who deal with suffering have such a special relationship with Christ)

It is a wonder that any man who considers and meditates on his exiled state and the many dangers to his soul, can ever be perfectly happy in this life. Lighthearted and heedless of our defects, we do not feel the real sorrows of our souls, but often indulge in empty laughter when we have good reason to weep. No liberty is true and no joy is genuine unless it is founded in the fear of the Lord and a good conscience. (I am grateful that I got to confession yesterday, but I was being uncharitable by dinner time...I need to continue to call on the graces from this amazing sacrament!!!)

Happy is the man who can throw off the weight (trust me I would be very happy) of every care and recollect himself in holy contrition. (purity of intention) Happy is the man who casts from him all that can stain or burden his conscience. (find a good nightly examination)

Fight like a man. Habit is overcome by habit. If you leave men alone, they will leave you alone to do what you have to do. Do not busy yourself about the affairs of others and do not become entangled in the business of your superiors. Keep an eye primarily on yourself and admonish yourself instead of your friends. (stop comparing yourself with others and wishing you were like them; learn and be inspired by them-than move on and ask for the graces to change)

If you do not enjoy the favor of men, do not let it sadden you; but consider it a serious matter if you do not conduct yourself as well or as carefully as is becoming for a servant of God and a devout religious. (speak with a spiritual advisor if this is a problem)

It is often better and safer for us to have few consolations in this life*, especially comforts of the body. Yet if we do not have divine consolation or experience it rarely, it is our own fault because we seek no sorrow of heart and do not forsake vain outward satisfaction. (I will bring this up with my spiritual advisor..."own fault" is a strong word...sometimes God uses the dry times to help us grow)

*St. Therese of Lisieux: If love were dependent on mere feelings, however, her vocation would have foundered, for as Thérèse wrote, “Do not believe I am swimming in consolations; oh, no, my consolation is to have none on earth.”

Mother Theresa's own struggle: “and she experienced a spiritual darkness that would remain with her until her death” (fifty years later).

Vocations: from a mother's heart...

Why does this have to be so stinking hard!!!

I have been trying to keep busy and not think of my feelings on Monday when I dropped my oldest son off at the airport. Things went so fast-I didn't have time to really break down. The typical craziness of our family life, the car breaking down, trying to figure out how I was going to get the daily tasks done...all consumed my head.

So, it has been the last couple of days that I have begged God for an answer of why this has to be so hard? I know my son is happy...I have never seen him so content with a decision. (He hates to make decisions!!!).

I keep hearing in my head something a holy priest said (he thinks I hate him for this homely-although it has been a constant use of my morning meditations and holy hours) said, "LOVE BURNS!!! It explodes, it expands, it grows..." This is why grace comes from suffering!!! This is why I feel closer now to my son than I ever have before. This is why people, who would never understand a vocation at this age...after seeing him, finally understand, accept, and realize this isn't as crazy as it sounds.

But, my mother's heart is on fire with...love/sorrow. Our Lady of Sorrows has been one of my patrons for years...now I know why!!!

Then God sent me many consolations of people and friends who have suffered way more than me...my neighbor's son who left for war, thoughts of mothers throughout the ages whose children have been taken from them...through sickness, death, war, and other tragedies. Not to mention the hundreds of saint stories I have read to my children over the years of the young boys and girls who have given their lives for Christ. I also remember the look on the mother's face in the movie The Chronicles of Narnia when she left her children at the train station...for their good.

I know he is preparing for his future vocation. Whatever vocation that may be…just giving God his best…I can try to do the same. I can finally act on all those many years of offering my children to the Heavenly Father to HIS service…I can walk the walk.

So consolation as it may be…my prayers for him and all my children has been…Thy will be done Lord!!! This is such a small act of suffering on my part. Seeing the formation and blessings my son and our family has received from this small yes…so I continue to pray…Thy will be done…and continue to cry, like any mom would do.

We give you thanks for all your gifts, almighty God, living and reigning now and forever...

Thy will be done!!!+JMJ+