Stress, anxiety, depression...oh my! Covid 19 Pandemic

Day 60 of quarantine

In my lifetime I have never encountered such a time as this. What is happening in our world is so strange and unpredictable. As a well balanced homeschooling momma of 14, I usually have my act together. Not great but at least I could handle the day to day ups and downs with a positive attitude.

This is a difficult time in my life with my normal schedule ruined. I am a strong woman when I am on my schedule, but this has thrown off my grove. I used to be super active, OK that is a nice way of saying super spazzy, if I was born in the 90's they would say ADD. My dad called it "monkey glands," I call it my super power.

Being off my schedule has caused me to fall apart in many ways like gaining around 15 lbs and being ultra lethargic. My house is getting messier and messier. I don't have the energy to do much. Everyday I have been surviving on watching daily mass, doing morning prayer with parishioners, doing a light workout, face timing family or friends to see a face other than my darling family at home, getting outside, taking a candlelit bath with praise and worship music, and watching family movies almost every night.

Today a priest I have been following for daily mass, said today that we need to fight against spiritual sloth and mental stupor. "We need to engage, the Goal is not to just endure the virus but to make the choice to sacrifice, than love, than friendship with Christ."

I am really appreciating the slowing down of my super crazy schedule, God is bringing lots of blessings to many families by having time with their daddy's, and working from home with their babies. I am not enjoying trying to do zoom school. This is not the homeschooling I have been used to for 30 years! As you can see from the classroom baseboard my kids aren't loving it much either.

This time of year I am busy planning and hosting parties,now its all cancelled. How else is my home gonna get cleaned if I don't have a party to host? Easter, First Communion, my birthday, Mother's Day, my daughters baby shower, seeing my grand babies, two graduation parties, the Father/daughter dance, end of the year banquet, not to mention all the sports...so many things cancelled. My old month looked like this...so God has given me a gift. This month everything is crossed off.

For an extrovert this is hard to deal with. I get out of the house each day but I am used to more of a schedule and without one, I literally lay on the couch and wonder what I have the energy to do. It's also hard on my marriage. My poor husband, I am trying to keep up with the housework when I am not trying to miss one of the ten zoom meetings we have. My husband is an extreme introvert and his schedule hasn't changed except that we are all home now, ALL. THE. TIME. So, he hasn't had his usual time by himself when we leave for the home school tutorial. This makes us more edgy than normal. My poor kids long to see their buddies again, thank God for letter writing, they have really embraced that fun skill lately.

So, lets keep praying for our world to get through this time with prayer and fasting and hope our churches open again. We need each other. Remember to keep reaching out to others and don't let anyone get left behind. Many are struggling and need our support.

Menopause support supplements 

My old schedule looked like this: 
Get up at 4:30 am and go to the gym
Go to 6:30 am mass
Quiet time before the kids woke up
Do school
Have lunch
Do jobs
Get ready for dinner
Eat
Try to pray as a family
Get ready for bed
Pass out between 9:30-10:00 pm

My new schedule looks like this:
Get up around 7:00 am
Take large amounts of Menopausal supplements
Brush teeth
Try to put on makeup
7:30 am light work out
8:00 am listen to online mass
8:30 am Do morning prayer 
9:00 am online school
11:30 am lunch
12:30 get dressed if not dressed yet
1:00 pm put baby down for nap
Take a candlelit bath with praise and worship music

Lay on the couch and do nothing

5:00 pm Dinner

6:00 pm try to pray

6:30 pm watch TV

8:30 pm put kids to bed

9:00 to 11:00 Lay around usually watching TV

Try to go to bed before 11:00 pm

Thy Will Be Done!!! +JMJ+

Meditation:

Being a mom to seven son's...yesterday's reading really hit home with me...

Reading 1 2 Mc 7:1, 20-31

It happened that seven brothers with their mother were arrested
and tortured with whips and scourges by the king,
to force them to eat pork in violation of God's law.

Most admirable and worthy of everlasting remembrance was the mother,
who saw her seven sons perish in a single day,
yet bore it courageously because of her hope in the Lord.
Filled with a noble spirit that stirred her womanly heart with manly courage,
she exhorted each of them
in the language of their ancestors with these words:
"I do not know how you came into existence in my womb;
it was not I who gave you the breath of life,
nor was it I who set in order
the elements of which each of you is composed.
Therefore, since it is the Creator of the universe
who shapes each man's beginning,
as he brings about the origin of everything,
he, in his mercy,
will give you back both breath and life,
because you now disregard yourselves for the sake of his law."

Antiochus, suspecting insult in her words,
thought he was being ridiculed.
As the youngest brother was still alive, the king appealed to him,
not with mere words, but with promises on oath,
to make him rich and happy if he would abandon his ancestral customs:
he would make him his Friend
and entrust him with high office.
When the youth paid no attention to him at all,
the king appealed to the mother,
urging her to advise her boy to save his life.
After he had urged her for a long time,
she went through the motions of persuading her son.
In derision of the cruel tyrant,
she leaned over close to her son and said in their native language:
"Son, have pity on me, who carried you in my womb for nine months,
nursed you for three years, brought you up,
educated and supported you to your present age.
I beg you, child, to look at the heavens and the earth
and see all that is in them;
then you will know that God did not make them out of existing things;
and in the same way the human race came into existence.
Do not be afraid of this executioner,
but be worthy of your brothers and accept death,
so that in the time of mercy I may receive you again with them."

She had scarcely finished speaking when the youth said:
"What are you waiting for?
I will not obey the king's command.
I obey the command of the law given to our fathers through Moses.
But you, who have contrived every kind of affliction for the Hebrews,
will not escape the hands of God."

May I always be a good example to my children...Lord bless my sons (and all my children) to live a life dedicated to you!!!

THY WILL BE DONE!!! +JMJ+

Meditation of the day: Imitation of Christ-

The Third Chapter
It Is Profitable to Receive Communion Often

The Disciple

BEHOLD, I come to You, Lord, that I may prosper by Your gift and be delighted at Your holy banquet which You, O God, in Your sweetness have prepared for Your poor. Behold, all that I can or ought to desire is in You. You are my salvation and my redemption, my hope and strength, my honor and glory.

Gladden, then, this day the soul of Your servant because I have raised my heart to You, O Lord Jesus. I long to receive You now, devoutly and reverently. I desire to bring You into my house that, with Zacheus, I may merit Your blessing and be numbered among the children of Abraham.

My soul longs for Your Body; my heart desires to be united with You. Give me Yourself—it is enough; for without You there is no consolation. Without You I cannot exist, without Your visitation I cannot live. I must often come to You, therefore, and receive the strength of my salvation lest, deprived of this heavenly food, I grow weak on the way. Once, most merciful Jesus, while preaching to the people and healing their many ills, You said: “I will not send them away fasting, lest they faint in the way.” Matt. 15:32. Deal with me likewise, You Who have left Yourself in this Sacrament for the consolation of the faithful. You are sweet refreshment to the soul, and he who eats You worthily will be a sharer in, and an heir to, eternal glory.

It is indeed necessary for me, who fall and sin so often, who so quickly become lax and weak, to renew, cleanse, and inflame myself through frequent prayer, confession, and the holy reception of Your Body, lest perhaps by abstaining too long, I fall away from my holy purpose. For from the days of his youth the senses of man are prone to evil, and unless divine aid strengthens him, he quickly falls deeper. But Holy Communion removes him from evil and confirms him in good.

If I am so often careless and lax when I celebrate or communicate, what would happen if I did not receive this remedy and seek so great a help? Although I am neither fit nor properly disposed to celebrate every day, yet I will do my best at proper times to receive the divine Mysteries and share in this great grace. This, indeed, is the one chief consolation of the faithful soul when separated from You by mortality, that often mindful of her God, she receives her Beloved with devout recollection.

Oh, wonderful condescension of Your affection toward us, that You, the Lord God, Creator and Giver of life to all, should see fit to come to a poor soul and to appease her hunger with all Your divinity and humanity! O happy mind and blessed soul which deserves to receive You, her Lord God, and in receiving You, is filled with spiritual joy! How great a Master she entertains, what a beloved guest she receives, how sweet a companion she welcomes, how true a friend she gains, how beautiful and noble is the spouse she embraces, beloved and desired above all things that can be loved and desired! Let heaven and earth and all their treasures stand silent before Your face, most sweetly Beloved, for whatever glory and beauty they have is of Your condescending bounty, and they cannot approach the beauty of Your name, Whose wisdom is untold.

I have been trying to go to daily mass since I was 16 years old. Of course there are times when it just doesn't work in my state in life. Those times that I do get there are amazing. There are times when I have brought all the kids and amazing isn't the word that I would use~stressful is more like it. Although what a great habit when it is part of our daily schedule.

This site has tons of great info.
I always tell the kids that when we receive Holy Communion it is like a little piece of heaven giving us the wisdom to make wise decisions.
God knows I need all the help I can get.

Here are some of the graces we get from frequent communion:
*removes the guilt of repented venial sins
*supernatural strength to resist temptation
*strengthening the virtues and gifts of the Holy Spirit
*gives us a spiritual joy

That is enough great reasons to get my lazy self out of the house and spend time with my best friend!!!

THY WILL BE DONE!!! +JMJ+

+The Greatest of these is LOVE+

From the second reading at mass today: (see meditation at the bottom)
1 Cor 12:31—13:13 or 13:4-13

Brothers and sisters:
Strive eagerly for the greatest spiritual gifts.
But I shall show you a still more excellent way.

If I speak in human and angelic tongues,
but do not have love,
I am a resounding gong or a clashing cymbal.
And if I have the gift of prophecy,
and comprehend all mysteries and all knowledge;
if I have all faith so as to move mountains,
but do not have love, I am nothing.
If I give away everything I own,
and if I hand my body over so that I may boast,
but do not have love, I gain nothing.

Love is patient, love is kind.
It is not jealous, it is not pompous,
It is not inflated, it is not rude,
it does not seek its own interests,
it is not quick-tempered, it does not brood over injury,
it does not rejoice over wrongdoing
but rejoices with the truth.
It bears all things, believes all things,
hopes all things, endures all things.

Love never fails.

If there are prophecies, they will be brought to nothing;
if tongues, they will cease;
if knowledge, it will be brought to nothing.
For we know partially and we prophesy partially,
but when the perfect comes, the partial will pass away.
When I was a child, I used to talk as a child,
think as a child, reason as a child;
when I became a man, I put aside childish things.
At present we see indistinctly, as in a mirror,
but then face to face.
At present I know partially;
then I shall know fully, as I am fully known.
So faith, hope, love remain, these three;
but the greatest of these is love.

One of my very holy mentors as a young bride taught me this:
(just insert your name where Love is)

Sam is patient, Sam is kind.
Sam is not jealous, Sam is not pompous,
Sam is not inflated, Sam is not rude,
Sam does not seek her own interests,
Sam is not quick-tempered, Sam does not brood over injury,
Sam does not rejoice over wrongdoing
but rejoices with the truth.
Sam bears all things, Sam believes all things,
Sam hopes all things, Sam endures all things.
Sam never fails.

Oh, how I wish it was true...what a good meditation to try to strive for.

THY WILL BE DONE!!! +JMJ+

My wonderful state in life !?@*

Part of my morning routine when I am pregnant is waking up around 6 putting on my support hose and heading out to 6:30am mass before the kids wake up. Sometimes...like this morning as I was walking out the door I thought I heard a squeak...should I just keep going and pretend I didn't hear the baby or EMBRACE my state in life and go get my boy.

I went upstairs and found my almost 2 year old playing "guys" with his 7 and 9 year old brother...oh yea, he had a real stinky diaper...so I stayed home and played playmobile with the boys for about an hour.

So much for making mass...I guess I will just say a good Spiritual Communion Prayer:

Spiritual Communion Prayer

My Jesus, I believe that You are present in the Most Holy Sacrament.
I love You above all things, and I desire to receive You into my soul.
Since I cannot at this moment receive You sacramentally,
come at least spiritually into my heart.
I embrace You as if You were already there and unite myself wholly to You.
Never permit me to be separated from You.

Sorry gotta go...I hear at least three of my "state in life" calling me!!!

Thy will be done!!! +JMJ+

Playing church...

My kids have always loved playing church. About ten years ago we invested in this mass kit from Our Father's House. It is great and going strong...it is way worth the investment.

I just got an email about this product called My mass kit. It looks ok, but the "real one" we have I think is much better and even more resonable on the cost.

THY WILL BE DONE!!! +JMJ+

MY MANTRA...

Say it with me...

From Mass today:
Responsorial Psalm
Ps 40:7-8a, 8b-9, 10, 11

R. Here I am, Lord; I come to do your will.
Sacrifice or oblation you wished not,
but ears open to obedience you gave me.
Holocausts or sin-offerings you sought not;
then said I, "Behold I come."
R. Here I am, Lord; I come to do your will.
"In the written scroll it is prescribed for me,
To do your will, O my God, is my delight,
and your law is within my heart!"
R. Here I am, Lord; I come to do your will.
I announced your justice in the vast assembly;
I did not restrain my lips, as you, O Lord, know.
R. Here I am, Lord; I come to do your will.
Your justice I kept not hid within my heart;
your faithfulness and your salvation I have spoken of;
I have made no secret of your kindness and your truth
in the vast assembly.
R. Here I am, Lord; I come to do your will.

How about this part of the second reading: Heb 10:9-10

"Behold, I come to do your will."He takes away the first to establish the second. By this "will," we have been consecrated through the offering of the Body of Jesus Christ once for all.

If that didn't get you: Try this passage from the Gospel...Luke 1:38

Mary said, "Behold, I am the handmaid of the Lord. May it be done to me according to your word."

THY WILL BE DONE!!! +JMJ+

Time change...communist plot

I know my husband would agree that the time change is a communist plot...at 6:38am this morning while I am usually enjoying a quite amazing time in the chapel of our church, attending 6:30am mass...I instead was surrounded by 9 kids under 10!!! (3 on loan from my sister in love)
It all started around 5:48am when they started waking up...now we are in the midst of runny noses, lego wars, spilt cereal, and a messy kitchen...gotta go...my nephew is so excited that he can be homeschooled today...so I better make it good!!!

THY WILL BE DONE!!!+JMJ+