After having some meditation time this morning, I was pleasently surprised at the Holy Spirit giving me insights on the First Reading from Isaiah 50;4-9. As I pondered the words it reminded me of my prayer as a mother.
4 The Lord GOD has given me the tongue of those who are taught, that I may know how to sustain with a word him that is weary.
Do I do this as a mom? Do I use my words the way Christ expects me to? When my children are sad or weary do I show compassion?
Morning by morning he wakens, he wakens my ear to hear as those who are taught.
See, God wants me to homeschool...Ok, I am the first to admit that in the morning I am awaken and awaken by different sounds...my baby crying to be nursed, my toddler crying to be taken out of her crib to go potty, my other kids dumping out buckets of toys or listening to tapes way too loud at wee hours in the morning, when the teens are still trying to sleep. Not to mention the fights and yelling that someone hurt them or took their favorite toy!!!
5 The Lord GOD has opened my ear, and I was not rebellious, I turned not backward.
Do I listen to the small voice of the Holy Spirit giving me lights on raising this family?
6 I gave my back to the smiters, and my cheeks to those who pulled out the beard; I hid not my face from shame and spitting.
I usually have a kid climbing on me, I don't have a beard-yet...and it isn't a rare occasion I have been spit up on. Do I show shame from having 11 kids am I embarressed when my children act normally instead of the little saints I want them to be?
7 For the Lord GOD helps me; therefore I have not been confounded; therefore I have set my face like a flint, and I know that I shall not be put to shame;
I know for a fact that God helps me with an abundance of Grace to make it through my difficulties.
8 he who vindicates me is near. Who will contend with me? Let us stand up together. Who is my adversary? Let him come near to me.
I will not be afraid to stand up for what I believe in...especially my faith, children, and home schooling a large family. I will continue to encourage other mothers not to be afraid of trusting God with their family decisions.
9 Behold, the Lord GOD helps me; who will declare me guilty? Behold, all of them will wear out like a garment; the moth will eat them up.
I will beg for help from the Lord to give me strength to organize my home and declutter and detatch from things that do not matter like all the toys, clothes, junk...
Who would of thought I would find so much inspiration from the First Reading? I am trying to prepare for these holy days with great fervour and devotion that I forget to find Christ in the little things.