Thursday, March 24, 2011

Getting personal:

Since Christmas I haven't really had real personal blogging...

Among the typical everyday crazy stuff I have gone through some exciting and stressful experiences.

On New Year's Eve my oldest daughter got engaged to a wonderful man who we love...May she graduates with her Masters in Social Work and then the Wedding in August. So lots of planning and excitement there.

At the end of January, after the ten year anniversary of my Father's death and the 20Th anniversary of my sister of my sister's death, (she died of cancer at age 39) my mom went into the hospital. At the age of 86 she was mentally and physically ready to go to her beloved maker. Me and my seven siblings spent a three week vigil by her side. Thanks to my wonderful husband and his mom, my kids and house survived the ordeal. I am still catching up on the housework.

Well, Spring brings a new beginning as I try to get through Lent as a holier and better me. I turn 43 in a couple of weeks. I am feeling very frumpy, over weight, and old. This is the longest time I haven't been pregnant in the 23 years of my marriage.

It is so confusing to others that yes, actually, I would love to have another baby. Yeah, I am crazy. The thought of maybe my body is sad. My heart aches for my friends and family who have had a life time of infertility. I have no understanding of that suffering. So my selfish whims of desire are embarrassing.

I am at a constant challenge as I try to loose weight. I am planning my High School 25Th reunion at the end of July and two weeks later my daughter is getting married. I have been exercising ever day but just can't seem to shed the pounds..."I look great for having 12 kids", which is the long standing joke in our house. I kinda want to just look great, or at least feel great.

So for the first time in my life, I got highlights! I had a friend's hairdresser come to my house yesterday, do my hair and six of my kids!!! This was our practice run for the wedding. It was fun and so easy! We all sat around doing school, laughing, and playing with the baby. What a great way to get our hair done. So stress free.

So that was my attempt at looking younger and not fat! So, I will keep working out and try to lose weight before this summer...unless I get pregnant ;)



Maurisa said...

I can't wait to see the new highlights!

I know how you feel about possibly being done having babies. I felt the same way and although I cherished our sixth one, realizing he might be the last, I still felt sad that he might be the last, especially as the clock kept ticking and the years passed unfruitfully. Thankfully, it was God's Will for us to have more and I feel so blessed! Hang on to your hope for another sweet baby. We never know what God has in store for us!

Cheryl said...

You know... when I think of the reasons why I am drawn to be friends with people, or not to be friends with them, their waistline never comes to mind. I think you are BEAUTIFUL and pretty... not frumpy at all. You are faithful and caring... I am blessed to call you my friend. Your faith will comfort you through whatever baby-blues you have... Besides, it may not be over... Gracie has pegged you and Alex to pull a Father of the Bride 2... You never know... : )

MamaMidwife said...

I have 4 babies and look at the last one thinking "this is it?" all the time. I understand how you could wish for another baby. I think it's very humbling what you said about selfish desires too.

The weight. Ah. Weight. I weigh 70 lbs more than I did 3 babies ago. I don't know how to "fix" it original it's even broken. I'd also just like to feel good and Not Feel Fat. I like what you friend said about waist lines......they never figure into friendship for me either.