17 day diet starting tomorrow...again!

Get you grocery list ready if you are gonna start with me tomorrow. If you don't think you can do it on the 1st than wait till the holiday weekend is over. I always look at the calender and look for 17 days that I know I can dedicate to this...I tell myself...if I cheat one day...than I have to start the 17 days over again!

Go here for my past posts about it!

Have fun and let me know if you need help! 

THY WILL BE DONE!!! +JMJ+

Keeping my head in the game

Thanks for the prayers everyone...I can feel them!

Here is a mental recap of what has been going on:

When I look back at our year I can't help but think God is using this for a greater good. After trying to get pregnant for about 2 years I came to the realization that I was moving to a different stage in my life. It was  super hard  to accept that I just might not have another baby...so I prayed and tried to move on. I started making appointments that women do when you start to go through menopause...getting my veins fixed, mammogram, and other doctor visits. It was then that a sonographer informed me that I was 6 and 1/2 weeks pregnant!!! Wow, what a treat...but there were some concerns with my progesterone and other things...so we prayed...I found out that "HOPE" didn't have a heart beat right before Thanksgiving. So January I got back to exercising and eating right. Then we got a surprise phone call in April asking if we would take a 2 1/2 month old baby for about six months to help out a mom in need. So we did, what a miracle to our family; and then we decided that this was a new ministry to help out moms and maybe this what God was calling us to. Well...a couple of weeks went by and I found out I was pregnant with Steven...this time my blood work looked great, my progesterone was wonderful, the sonograms were perfect...and then my water broke out of no where...after 2 weeks of bedrest Steven died around 20 weeks. So now I am not just mourning Steven, but my fertility.

I have had a good laugh lately...when I was young and first dating my husband...every song I heard on the radio reminded me of him...fast, slow, country, rock, classical...you name it...they brought me to thoughts of him...

Lately, every song I hear reminds me of what I am going through and how much I miss Steven. Today I had a better work out and this song reminded me how important it is that I stay in the game!

MERCYME LYRICS

"Move"

I'm not about to give up
Because I heard you say
There's gonna be brighter days
There's gonna be brighter days
I won't stop, I'll keep my head up
No, I'm not here to stay
There's gonna be brighter days
There's gonna be brighter days mm m

I just might bend but I won't break
As long as I can see your face

[Chorus:]
When life won't play along
And right keeps going wrong
And I can't seem to find my way
I know where I am found
So I won't let it drag me down
Oh, I'll keep dancing anyway

I'm gonna move (move)
I'm gonna move (move)
I'm gonna move

I've got to hold it steady
Keep my head in the game
Everything is about to change
Everything is about to change

This hurt is getting heavy
But I'm not about to cave
Everything's about to change
There's gonna be brighter days

I just might bend but won't break
As long as I can see your face

[Chorus]

No matter what may come
Gotta move to a different drum
No matter what life brings
Gotta move gotta move to a different beat [x2]

I just might bend but won't break
As long as I can see your face

[Chorus x2]

No matter what may come
Gotta move to a different drum
No matter what life brings
Gotta move gotta move to a different beat

***Note to young moms...

embrace your fertility...have lots of babies!!! 

I know it seems hard and like you can barely get through the day...

let God be in control of your fruitfulness, 

and if your husband is willing...

keep having babies...it is such a gift!!!  

Take it from an old 44 year old momma!

THY WILL BE DONE!!! +JMJ+|

Good GRIEF!!!

I have been really having a hard time getting over the loss of our baby...it isn't like me to be so sullen all the time. I try to shake it off. I have so very much to be thankful for and I have a wonderful husband and children who really need me to take care of them.

I went to the gym everyday last week and I started eating so much healthier. By Friday morning when I was at the gym I just about lost it. I was having a slow workout and I just couldn't stop thinking, "Why am I here? What am I doing? Just last month I couldn't stop smiling, I was so excited that my pregnancy was going so great! I ate everything all the time, I slept in, I took naps everyday, I went to bed early...now I get up at 4:45am to workout and am only eating healthy food...and I can't even make myself smile!"

Then came a busy weekend as I took my daughter and her friends away...now it is Monday again...this time I started my morning off with going to Adoration. I just sat in the chapel and cried. I am so glad that during this grief I can turn to my Lord and my husband...both who have been very patient with me! I got in the car to go home and thought...let me put on the christian radio station...that usually encourages me and makes me smile...so when I did, one of my favorite songs came on that really fit my situation perfect!

.

Newsboys Blessed Be Your Name Lyrics

Blessed be Your name
In the land that is plentiful
Where your streams of abundance flow
Blessed be Your name

Blessed be Your name
When I'm found in the desert place
Though I walk through the wilderness
Blessed be Your name

Every blessing You pour out
I'll turn back to praise
When the darkness closes in, Lord
Still I will say

Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your glorious name

Blessed be Your name
When the sun's shining down on me
When the world's 'all as it should be'
Blessed be Your name

Blessed be Your name
On the road marked with suffering
Though there's pain in the offering
Blessed be Your name

Every blessing You pour out
I'll turn back to praise
When the darkness closes in, Lord
Still I will say

Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your glorious name

Every blessing You pour out
I'll turn back to praise
When the darkness closes in, Lord
Still I will say

Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your glorious name

You give and take away
You give and take away
But my heart will choose to say
You give and take away
You give and take away
But my heart will choose to say

Blessed it be your of the lord
Blessed it be your name
Bless it be your name of the lord
Bless it be your glorious name

Blessed it be your name of the lord
Blessed it be your name
Blessed it be your name of the lord
Blessed it be your glorious name

THY WILL BE DONE!!! +JMJ+

17 DAY DIET...here I go again...

Look out...here I go again...besides mentally grieving over our baby Steven, I have been physically uncomfortable. It is one thing being overweight and still wearing maternity clothes when you are holding and nursing a newborn...but when you don't have one to show off and you have on maternity clothes and kindhearted people ask you when you baby is due...well, it is time for a change!

I have posted lots about the 17 day diet you can find all the links on my blog as well as Google away!!! There is even a group on Facebook. 

I am starting on Sept 1st...so if you want to join in...I will be posting for the first 17 days on my blog...than you can get an idea and decide if you want to stop or keep going after the first 17 days.

Some general guidelines for the first 17 days called ACCELERATE CYCLE:

1. One 8oz cup of hot lemon water (squeeze half a fresh lemon in cup)
2. 3 cups of green tea a day
3. All the fresh fruits and veggies you want (minus a few) and no fruit after 2pm
4. 2 sugar free pro-biotic foods a day
(like Chobani fruit greek yogurt and Breakstone's Live Active cottage cheese)
5. Eight 8oz cups of water per day
6. At least 17 minutes of exercise a day
7. Right now the only meat I can eat is fish (I eat tuna & tilapia), turkey breast & ground turkey (lots of turkey tacos and turkey burgers), and chicken breasts.
8. The only "fat" I can use is olive oil and cooking spray

If you want to get ready for Sept 1st...here is a Grocery List:
The book
Lots of fresh fruit (no watermelon, pineapple, green grapes, or bananas)
Tons of fresh veggies (no potatoes)
Green tea (decaff or caff)
Lemons
Ground turkey
Turkey burgers
Chicken breasts
Fish
Olive oil
Salad dressing with no sugar (vinaigrette)

If you want to see some old posts Look here:
I have a long way to go to where I was last March ...I wouldn't give up my time being pregnant with Steven, it was so wonderful.

I have actually exercised for four days in a row...When I went to the gym on Monday morning at 5 am the guys who used to welcome me told me that it was 121 days since I had been there...(May 1st) They said you must of had a busy summer...if they only knew!

Now I have to get up the nerve to go to the Ob today for my follow up and not break down in tears...I am sure I will be sitting in a room full of beautiful pregnant mommas! Mourning the loss of Steven has been the hardest thing I have ever experienced, but morning my fertility is even harder.

Last year I decided that God had other plans for us since I hadn't gotten pregnant and I was entering pre menopause. Since then, I have lost two babies. Baby Hope around 8 weeks in November 2011 and Steven at 5 months on Aug 1, 2012.

Being 44, I am not sure what God has in store for me. I would love to have another baby...(Did I say that out loud?) not sure I can mentally go through losing one again...but I am praying THY WILL BE DONE all the time.

Please keep praying for me!!!

THY WILL BE DONE!!! +JMJ+

18 and Wonderful!!!

My sweet baby girl is 18!!! 

I can't believe it...what a joy you are and our "Little Sunshine"...

Stay close to Jesus and he will guide you through anything! 

We are so proud of you and 

know God has great plans for you!

 MY GIRLS

 BIRTHDAY GIRL

 GREAT BIG SISTER

 ON YOUR SWEET 16!!!

 WITH YOUR CUZ AND TWO SISTERS

  Valedictorian for high school

 At your sisters wedding

Your bosses...what a job...SUPER NANNY!!!

THY WILL BE DONE!!! +JMJ+

Sidewalk Prophets - Words I Would Say with lyrics

EVERY parent wants to say this to their kids...especially all of you starting school today...and away at college...we love you...but more importantly...GOD LOVES YOU!!! Be good and trust in the Lord!



THY WILL BE DONE!!! +JMJ+

Trying to heal my broken heart:

As I try to heal from our loss of Steven 

God continues to hold me in the palm of HIS hands...

He puts many cute faces in my path daily 

to remind me the importance of continue my work of being the best christian, 

wife, and mother I can be...

so I press on and wipe the tears from my eyes 

only to find a sweet child in front of me looking for the love of a mommy! 

Thank you Jesus for my husband, kids, 

and a huge community of people who pray 

and help us in many ways!

It was my son's fifth birthday 

and all my kids were home for a family dinner...

so of course we pulled out the camera 

to catch them all before some of them head off to college and life...

we had to catch my son in love after work...

but we still got him! 

Nothing like a Christmas picture 

when the kids are all tan!!!

MY GIRLS!!!

MY BOYS!!!

My son in love...surrounded by my beautiful daughters...

My oldest and her hubby!

Thank you Lord again for a great day...

a wonderful husband...and super kids...

please help me to continue to heal in soul 

and body help me grow closer to you each day 

and be a better wife and mother to my family!

Now if I could just get out of these maternity clothes!!!
THY WILL BE DONE!!! +JMJ+