Keeping my head in the game

Thanks for the prayers everyone...I can feel them!

Here is a mental recap of what has been going on:

When I look back at our year I can't help but think God is using this for a greater good. After trying to get pregnant for about 2 years I came to the realization that I was moving to a different stage in my life. It was  super hard  to accept that I just might not have another baby...so I prayed and tried to move on. I started making appointments that women do when you start to go through menopause...getting my veins fixed, mammogram, and other doctor visits. It was then that a sonographer informed me that I was 6 and 1/2 weeks pregnant!!! Wow, what a treat...but there were some concerns with my progesterone and other things...so we prayed...I found out that "HOPE" didn't have a heart beat right before Thanksgiving. So January I got back to exercising and eating right. Then we got a surprise phone call in April asking if we would take a 2 1/2 month old baby for about six months to help out a mom in need. So we did, what a miracle to our family; and then we decided that this was a new ministry to help out moms and maybe this what God was calling us to. Well...a couple of weeks went by and I found out I was pregnant with Steven...this time my blood work looked great, my progesterone was wonderful, the sonograms were perfect...and then my water broke out of no where...after 2 weeks of bedrest Steven died around 20 weeks. So now I am not just mourning Steven, but my fertility.

I have had a good laugh lately...when I was young and first dating my husband...every song I heard on the radio reminded me of him...fast, slow, country, rock, classical...you name it...they brought me to thoughts of him...

Lately, every song I hear reminds me of what I am going through and how much I miss Steven. Today I had a better work out and this song reminded me how important it is that I stay in the game!

MERCYME LYRICS

"Move"

I'm not about to give up
Because I heard you say
There's gonna be brighter days
There's gonna be brighter days
I won't stop, I'll keep my head up
No, I'm not here to stay
There's gonna be brighter days
There's gonna be brighter days mm m

I just might bend but I won't break
As long as I can see your face

[Chorus:]
When life won't play along
And right keeps going wrong
And I can't seem to find my way
I know where I am found
So I won't let it drag me down
Oh, I'll keep dancing anyway

I'm gonna move (move)
I'm gonna move (move)
I'm gonna move

I've got to hold it steady
Keep my head in the game
Everything is about to change
Everything is about to change

This hurt is getting heavy
But I'm not about to cave
Everything's about to change
There's gonna be brighter days

I just might bend but won't break
As long as I can see your face

[Chorus]

No matter what may come
Gotta move to a different drum
No matter what life brings
Gotta move gotta move to a different beat [x2]

I just might bend but won't break
As long as I can see your face

[Chorus x2]

No matter what may come
Gotta move to a different drum
No matter what life brings
Gotta move gotta move to a different beat

***Note to young moms...

embrace your fertility...have lots of babies!!! 

I know it seems hard and like you can barely get through the day...

let God be in control of your fruitfulness, 

and if your husband is willing...

keep having babies...it is such a gift!!!  

Take it from an old 44 year old momma!

THY WILL BE DONE!!! +JMJ+|