Paying for College

 We wrote A Catholic Guide to Spending Less and Living More (Ave Maria Press, 2021) for individuals and families at every stage of life. However, there are two milestones in the life of a young adult that can be particularly costly . . . and the first one is college. (The second is a wedding, and we have a separate resource for that!) Your education can set you up for future financial well-being or put you so deeply in debt that it will take years to dig out. This download is for students who are finishing their high school years (or who are going back to school after being in the workforce for a while) and are looking to get the education or training they need to support themselves in the real world. Whether you choose a four-year university, a community college, a local training school, or some other program, you need to ask yourself, How am I going to pay for this?

 Don’t Waste Your High School Years:

 First, a bit of background. We have fourteen kids (the oldest is now in her thirties) and have helped most of them launch themselves into college the same way they paid for their first car: save, plan, budget, then start saving more for repairs or for the next car. Each of our kids has had the same goal: to get their undergraduate degree and be debt-free at graduation. According to our family rules, they are responsible for any college expenses due after financial aid and scholarships are applied, usually through savings and work-study programs. We don’t help them with tuition, books, or room and board (unless they live at home). Because all of our kids (except for #13) were or are being homeschooled through high school, they have more time to build up that nest egg than many students do. We graduate them from high school at either sixteen or seventeen, depending on how much they have worked ahead. (Why stay in high school longer than you have to? In the immortal words of Ferris Bueller, “It’s a little childish and stupid, but then, so is high school.”) Graduating from high school early is also a plus if you need to spread out your college education over five or six years due to finances. Our daughter Alex has this to say about what homeschooling taught her about financial independence: I believe we all became more independent by being homeschooled and starting to work as young teenagers. We did a lot of self-directed work, which prepared us for college. We all started working as soon as we could, maybe to get out of the house but also because if we wanted money to go out with friends, buy special clothes, a car, or a phone, that was on us. I appreciate having had to pay for those things on my own as that instilled good habits: an early work ethic, saving, and budgeting. It also helped me to make more intentional decisions about what I was spending my money on. If you are currently in high school, it’s not too soon to start thinking about where you want to go to college and how you are going to pay for it. Working summers and part-time during the school year can give you a measure of financial freedom if you you are disciplined about saving. (If you’re not sure how to do that, check out the chapters on budgeting and saving in our book!) 

Search Relentlessly for Free Money (Scholarships):

 During the fall of their last year of high school, each of our kids filled out the FAFSA (Free Application for Federal Student Aid) application to get some wealth redistributed their way. Hey, if the government is gonna tax people’s money and give it away for free, our kids might as well get a slice of the pie! Once you complete the FAFSA form, you will learn how much free money (in the form of a Pell Grant) you qualify for, based on your family income and other factors. You will also learn how much money you can borrow. The federal government offers two kinds of student loans, subsidized (lower interest rate) and standard (regular interest rates). We want our kids to avoid student loans like a prom date with body odor. But, as you will see, sometimes the kids have had to take out student loans. You will also want to research in the library, talk to your guidance counselor, and check with your local politicians for scholarship money. Our kids have all received between $200 and $500 per semester from various state officials.

Consider Community College:

 While we don’t feel that college is a must, we do encourage our kids to go to community college for two years. After that, if they want to continue at a four-year university, get a job, go to trade school, start their own business, or try out for Dancing with the Stars, it’s up to them. Community college is much cheaper per credit than a four-year university. We have a nationally recognized community college about twenty minutes down the road from us. In addition to being affordable, this particular community college is linked to all the public universities in our state. Credit received for courses taken at the community college transfers to the state colleges. After attending community college, all of our kids so far have transferred to a state university, receiving full credit for two years of college. Another plus of community college: If you drop out, very little money has been wasted. And yes, our kids go to public colleges, not Catholic ones. The various public universities our kids have attended have all had Catholic student groups on campus, some better than others. And some of our kids have been more involved with those student groups than others, but all the kids have kept their faith while in school. So we don’t see what $50,000 per year and a degree in philosophy gets you, other than a job at Starbucks and a home in your parents’ basement. We are mostly kidding! If you can afford to pay cash to go to a Catholic college and you feel the experience is worth the expense, go for it. Our community college costs $6,000 to $7,000 per year. Our kids usually get $3,000 to $6,000 in aid and scholarships annually during their community college days. (They receive more aid when attending a university.) The amount of aid the kids receive has been decreasing over the years as our income goes up and the number of dependents living at home goes down. Depending on the amount they receive, they have to come up with $1,000 to $4,000 per year. And since they have all been working throughout high school and have developed good saving habits, this is not an issue. After two years of community college, all of our kids have moved on to a four-year state university. Some go to one close to home and commute; they get free room and board that way but have commuting costs. Others have chosen to go to a school farther away (living there adds to the expense, obviously). They finance this by using their savings, summer jobs, and on-campus jobs, plus whatever financial aid they have received. For some of the kids, the financial aid package has been enough to cover the entire cost of college. Public universities in our state cost around $10,000 per year for tuition and a similar amount for room and board.

Keep Saving Once You’re at School:

 It has been fun to watch our kids get creative with ways to save money in order to achieve their goal to get through college debt-free while living on their own. Finding cheap housing is mission number one. Apartments and houses that are close to being condemned but are perfect for a bunch of twenty-year-old guys to rent are much sought after by our kids. They buy used books online or rent them from sites such as Amazon, eBay, and Textbooks.com. They also know how to shop for and cook basic, inexpensive meals (if you don’t know how, ask a parent for some lessons or find a mentor). They get a junker bike to ride around campus. An old bike purchased at a garage sale for twenty dollars is perfect for this purpose, and if it gets stolen, it’s no big loss.

And Now, a Word from a Real Live Graduate:

Our Son, Robert Fatzinger, Age Twenty-One I think the biggest thing I have to offer is to tell you to not get caught up in the idea of a “fun college experience.” I still had fun going to community college and then transferring to the University of Maryland (UMD). While at times I wish I had been able to go there all four years, the money I saved and the credits I built up while attending community college were well worth it. If you can find a way to get ahead by taking college-level courses while in high school, do it. Taking classes at your local community college saves you so much time and money. The flexibility of community college also allowed me to work between fifteen and thirty hours a week throughout my first two years of school. I saved a good bit of money and got help from financial aid, which allowed me to pay for the first year of school at UMD without accumulating much debt. As far as living on your own goes, I did move out for my two years at UMD. This allowed me to hang out with my friends who also attended UMD much more. If you do live at school, I suggest you make sure you have a way to make food on your own. This saves so much money compared to eating out all the time or buying a meal plan and eating on campus. I like to stick to easy recipes that I can make with simple ingredients. The next big thing is to find a supermarket/grocery store close to you that has good deals. The chains in my area like Aldi and Lidl have great deals. The idea is to just find the cheapest stores so you can afford to buy a lot of groceries and be able to make whatever you want. While I was in school, I set a monthly spending limit for myself. I tried to keep my expenses, other than tuition, food, and rent, under $200 a month. This gave me enough money to hang out with my friends and go to places around campus. I was able to do this by having a few different jobs. In my experience, the best/easiest job you can get is an on-campus job. Student employee hours are usually very flexible, and for the most part, the jobs are easy. I was also able to do homework and study a lot of the time while at work. Not only do you make money, but it also is a good résumé builder. What should you study to get the best value for your education? If you are looking to get hired easily after graduation, I recommend that you pick a practical major. It’s okay to do something you enjoy, but make sure that thing will be able to support you after school. And if you want to work for a larger firm, keep an eye on your grades. Try to achieve around a 3.3–3.7 GPA, depending on your major. The other thing that helped me was having a lot of other activities during college to build my résumé. Companies want to see that you can get good grades while also having a life. This is why I worked, played intramural sports, joined clubs, and volunteered for a lot of charities. The good companies will recognize that you still achieved a good GPA while doing something outside of school. I took on around $20,000 in debt during my last two years of school. The key to keeping your debt down is to save your money and apply for all sorts of scholarships. By being frugal, working throughout school, and going to community college, you’ll be able to graduate without a ton of debt.

Seeing Is Believing: Where Are They Now?

 There are many ways to tackle paying for college, if you choose to go. The details provided above have worked for us and may work for you. Here are our results so far from doing it this way:

 • Child #1 received her undergrad degree at age twenty and her master’s degree at age twenty-one. She finished undergrad school debt-free, took out a small loan for the last semester of grad school, and had a job upon graduation. 

• Child #2 completed his undergrad degree at age twenty-two. He was in the seminary for two years after high school, so he got a later start on college. He graduated debt-free and had a job upon graduation. 

• Child #3 received his undergrad degree at age twenty and his doctor of physical therapy degree at age twenty-three. He completed undergrad school debt-free. He took on a lot of student loan debt for medical school. He had a job upon graduation. He is in the process of paying down his student loans.

 • Child #4 completed her undergrad degree at age twenty-one. She graduated debt-free and had a job upon graduation. 

• Child #5 received her undergrad degree at age twenty-one and a master’s degree at twenty-two. She finished her undergrad degree debt-free. She took out a small student loan to pay for part of grad school. She had a job upon graduation. 

• Child #6 completed his undergrad degree at age twenty-one. He graduated with a small student loan that he took out for the last semester of school and had a job upon graduation. He paid off the loan within a year of graduating. 

• Child #7 received his undergrad degree at age twenty. He graduated with a moderate amount of student loan debt that he took out for the last two years of school and had a job upon graduation. 

• Child #8 is nineteen years old and a junior in college. He has no student loans so far. 

• Child #9 is seventeen years old and a freshman in college. She has no student loans so far. 

• Children #10–14, to be determined. They range in age from four years old to fifteen. Child number thirteen attends the local public elementary school and is in second grade. He goes there to have some learning disabilities addressed that we are not qualified to handle. 

 So that’s how it has gone so far. The oldest seven kids are doing great and setting a good example for their younger siblings. Even if we could afford to pay for our kids’ college, we wouldn’t. Sam believes that kids who pay their own way party less and study more than kids whose parents pay. (Rob is proof of that.) 

Our son Josh shared that our family’s financial philosophy taught him skills that helped him find a job and be successful as an adult: • How to make big decisions—and small ones too by spending time in front of the Eucharist. • How to be resourceful. There is always another option. • How to be creative when bored. • How to work with all sorts of people with all sorts of skill levels and abilities. • How to work on my own and on a team. • How to research a problem, find solutions, and choose the best one. • How to bargain and negotiate. It doesn’t hurt to ask. • How to have a healthy relationship with money I don’t want to be a slave to it because I have too little or because I’m scared to spend it on what I need. • How to think about short- versus long-term investments. There is no such thing as a “short-term” investment. Invest for the long run. The best short-term investment is to not spend your money in the first place. • How to avoid buying for the wrong reasons. Don’t buy something if you feel forced or pressured; you probably don’t need it. If you do need it, you usually end up paying more than if you planned ahead. • How to comparison shop. Don’t take the first option right away; wait until you have another option to compare and contrast it to. • How to get good deals by buying things out of season, such as buying a swimsuit in January, ski jacket in June, etc. • How to learn more about money. You can always learn more about finances. • How to save by working so many hours that you don’t have the time or energy to spend your money. • How to save on gas. Let Dad drive when your tank is near empty because he’s likely to fill it up for you. • How to find cheap outdoor hobbies like biking, hiking, and camping. • How to find and buy high-quality used name-brand clothing, outdoor gear, and sports equipment. Then resell it for a profit when you’re done or pass it on. I use thrift stores, Facebook Marketplace, Goodwill online, Craigslist, eBay, Mercari, and OfferUp.

What’s the Next Step? If you are reading this article the summer after your senior year of high school and are just realizing that there is no magic wand to fix your finances in time for your first semester of college or trade school in the fall, don’t worry. The fact that you are reading this says that you have some important 8 College the Fatzinger Way things going for you. You want an education. And you want to get that education without putting your financial future in jeopardy. In A Catholic Guide to Spending Less and Living More, we have shared our family’s experiences in staying out of debt and saving for the future. None of this happened overnight, and at times we struggled to achieve the goals we set for ourselves. (If you can’t afford your own copy of our book, ask your local library to order it for you.) Do you believe that God has a plan for your life? If you have never asked God what he wants you to do with your life, take that step first. Go and spend some time in front of the Blessed Sacrament. Take a notebook and pen, and write down your thoughts and questions. Ask Jesus to speak to your heart and show you the plan he has for you. If your parents are unable to help you plan this next phase of your life, ask God to put good mentors in your path who can assist you. Maybe it will be community college or trade school. Maybe you can become an apprentice or learn on the job. Ask God to guide you, and look expectantly for the doors to open. Start volunteering in an area that interests you. Talk to others who are established in fields you are considering. Above all, pray and ask for wisdom.

 We’ll leave you with this passage from the letter of James: Consider it all joy, my brothers, when you encounter various trials, for you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. And let perseverance be perfect, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing. But if any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God who gives to all generously and ungrudgingly, and he will be given it. But he should ask in faith, not doubting, for the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea that is driven and tossed about by the wind. (Jas 1:2–6 , NABRE)

 Homework • What do you want to do with your life after you finish high school? What interests, activities, or strengths do you see in yourself that might draw you to a particular career path? • What are your most important reasons for choosing a particular college? Are these reasons financially sound? Is this school going to provide a good value for what you want to do in life? • What are three things you can do to strengthen your financial situation so that you can finish your post–high school education with as little debt as possible? (For an explanation of good vs. bad debt, check out the chapter on debt in our book.) • Who are some people you admire who have pursued successful careers and who might be able to give you good advice on the next steps you should take?

Feeding Your Family on a Budget

 Feeding Your Family without Going Broke

2 parents + 14 kids x 3 meals a day each x 365 days a year = Yikes!

 We won’t kid you. Feeding up to sixteen mouths at a time can get expensive. It’s also time-consuming: We spend about half of our day preparing, eating, cleaning up after, or planning a meal. And so, when our kids come home with leftovers after a youth group meeting, work lunch, or other event, we are thankful both for the extra food and that they have taken our “no waste” rule to heart. Dang, our kids can eat. Once they hit twelve years of age, they start eating like every meal is their last. They can chow down on three cheeseburgers and a pile of fries and five minutes later ask where the dessert is. So what’s a parent to do? One of the biggest ways we save money is by eating at home 99.99% of the time. People think we must do a huge meal prep and recipe planning sessions. But we don’t. Our only secret to frugal meals and keeping up with feeding our family is to buy what is on sale and to eat simply. When we say a dish is simple, we mean easy to prepare and using as few ingredients as possible. We have found some go-to meals—or as Kendra Adachi, podcaster and author of The Lazy Genius Way calls them, brainless crowd-pleasers—that our family likes, and we suggest you do the same. (We’ve posted some of our go-to recipes on our website, FatzFam.com.) It helps to have between ten and thirty go-to meals. Once you get your go-to list, start to stock supplies in your pantry by looking for those ingredients on sale. On Sunday nights, we make a list of the meals we are going to prepare that week. In the early years of feeding our brood, we would serve a meat (chicken, ham, or roast if it was on sale) plus a starch (potatoes, rice, or pasta) and a veggie (salad, carrots, canned veggie, or whatever fresh veggie was on sale that week). Nowadays, we are on low-carb diets, so the less starch and sugar the better. We roast lots of veggies. We are big on leftovers (we call it restaurant night), and we have breakfast for dinner about once a week. Here are some other tips and tricks we use to keep the family food budget manageable. Shop discount stores. Around the time we had our eighth child, our monthly food expenditure surpassed our mortgage payment. We currently spend $1,400 a month on groceries. Before Aldi and Lidl moved into our town, we spent at least $400 more than that. For the uninitiated, Aldi and Lidl are no-frills discount food stores. We do 80 percent of our shopping at Aldi, 10 percent at Lidl, and 10 percent at Giant when the supermarket has discount meat sales. Since these discount grocery stores moved to town, we have used our savings on food bills to contribute an extra $400 a month to our retirement accounts. Make friends with the butcher. At all the stores where we shop, we try to get to know the employees, especially the butcher. Sam’s mom taught her this tip. She would befriend the butcher and find out when he marked down the meat, usually 33–50 percent off, and what items would go on sale the following week. No point in paying $4.99 a pound for chicken breasts if they are going on sale next week for $1.99 a pound. We’ve found chicken at Aldi for as low as $1.49 per pound, and that’s when we stock our freezer. Beware big-box stores. For years we were members at a big-box club store. While we got some good deals on food and household items, we also tossed items in the cart that we didn’t need. Who can resist an emergency pallet of food, a heated toilet seat with a night-light, or a 72 lb wheel of cheese 4 Feeding Your Family without Going Broke (all actual items at Costco)? Eventually, we canceled the membership to avoid buying such items. Aldi and Lidl save us as much or more on food. Stock your pantry with staples. We have two refrigerators, two ovens, two dishwashers, two microwaves (the Noah’s ark kitchen), and a huge pantry. Now, if you don’t have a family of sixteen, you may not need two of every kitchen appliance, but a good-size pantry is essential. Sam plans the weekly menu based on three things: what’s in the freezer, what’s in the pantry, and what’s on sale at the grocery stores. The better the sale, the more we get. If there is a limit on the sale items, that’s no problem; we just bring along some of the kids and put them in the checkout line with a fistful of cash! What’s in the pantry? Things that have a long shelf life: boxes of pasta, jars of pasta sauce and tomato sauce, popcorn, peanut butter (lots of peanut butter), canned soups, canned beans, canned veggies (we love artichokes and mushrooms), rice, canned chicken and tuna, chicken and beef bouillon, cereal and oatmeal, almonds, and crackers. We also stock a variety of baking supplies, such as baking soda and powder, cornstarch, white and brown sugar, shortening, chocolate chips, flour, tubs of icing and cake mixes for last-minute celebrations, pancake mix and syrup, boxes of Jell-O and pudding, and marshmallows and chocolate bars for s’mores. Common herbs, spices, and oils we stock include vanilla, cinnamon, taco seasoning, sea salt, paprika, oregano, basil, cumin, garlic powder, dried onion, pepper, Old Bay Seasoning (it’s a Maryland thing), and olive, coconut, and vegetable oils. Condiments include mustard and mayonnaise, ketchup, and soy sauce. We tried growing some of our own food, but it didn’t really pan out. Besides critters eating all of our stuff, Sam can barely keep our basil plant alive. Having a well-stocked pantry saves you both money (since you are stocking it when items are on sale) and time, since you won’t be running back and forth to the grocery store to make small purchases. Our neighborhood has a fun text group that asks questions such as who has an extra can of roasted tomatoes or a pack of frozen broccoli when we have those inevitable moments when we realize we are missing an ingredient for dinner. We would be lost without our community of support. Make one, find one, beg God for one! Home Is Where the Food Is As we mention in A Catholic Guide to Spending Less and Living More, our entire family goes out to a restaurant about once a year, and Rob takes the kids out for lunch on their birthday. We go on a date night about twice a month, using restaurant gift cards we receive as birthday and holiday presents. There are many reasons to eat at home apart from staying on budget. Taking sixteen people out on the town can be a logistical nightmare, not to mention the noise and general craziness involved. Rob’s mom thought she would treat us to McDonald’s one time at the beach when we just had ten little mouths to feed; it cost more than fifty dollars, and she laughed, thinking it would be around twenty. Our kids fix their own breakfast and lunch, and their menu choices are posted on the side of the refrigerator: some combination of oatmeal or cereal, toast, eggs, and yogurt for breakfast; leftovers, nachos, sandwiches, or veggies and fruit for lunch. We make sure to keep snacks and water bottles in the car. That way we are prepared for those times when fast food may seem like a tempting option. 5 Feeding Your Family without Going Broke Busy moms need to keep things simple to avoid falling back on pizza and takeout. Anyone can learn to stick a whole chicken in the oven for two hours, make some butter noodles, and throw some baby carrots on plates. Some moms choose to cook on weekends and freeze meals in advance. We have a basic weekly dinner rotation that we vary so the meals don’t become boring: leftovers on Monday, tacos on Tuesday, Italian on Wednesday, slow-cooker meals on Thursday, homemade or frozen pizza on Friday, burgers or other grilled meat on Saturday, and roast beef or chicken on Sunday. Family traditions don’t have to be expensive or fancy. We believe mealtime is an important part of keeping families close. Home is where memories are made (even some not so great ones), where kids see real people act like real sinners, and where we celebrate milestones and create traditions. Above all, it’s a place where we pray and work together to care for each other’s needs. Our kids grow up knowing that it is hard to be a Christian, to pick up your cross, to not spend money, and to keep your mouth shut. They know what it’s like when someone makes the wrong financial decision, disagrees with their spouse, or is disappointed with their teenagers. That is the blessing of a big family. Our children see the truth in many different circumstance's and personalities. Making It Together Teaching your kids to cook is an important rite of passage—even if you’re not the world’s greatest cook! As they get older and prepare to leave home, take the time to create a simple file of family recipes for them, especially those recipes that are an important part of your family tradition: Grandma’s Christmas cookies, Aunt Netty’s mac and cheese, and Grandpa Mike’s baby back ribs. Include some recipes for low-cost crowd-pleasers such as chili and chicken on the grill. Encourage your kids to go to Goodwill to find some basic kitchen equipment for their new digs or, better yet, to ask around. When our son and his wife left everything behind in Arizona to move cross-country to work near us, we asked around among friends and on Facebook for extra household things. Our son and daughter-in-law ended up with way more than they needed, so they shared with the two brothers who were moving out on their own also. We are so encouraged that our older kids offer the gift of hospitality in their new homes by hosting backyard picnics, game nights, and kids’ home birthday parties. With a little culinary creativity, you are helping them to create community and build friendships, while continuing your family legacy of spending less and living more, long after they are no longer relying on you to provide them with every meal. For more ideas about how to raise independent (and hospitable) kids, check out our book, A Catholic Guide to Spending Less and Living More

How we pay for Weddings

 Weddings the Fatzinger Way\

 A wedding is often a reliable test of a couple’s readiness for married life. It tells a lot about how the two of them make decisions, what they value, and who the most important people in their life are. If your child is planning a wedding, we suggest that you decide up-front what you can afford to contribute—whether it’s $500 or $50,000—and give it to the couple to budget. This will help them to discern what is important to them. Starting out, Rob and I were in total agreement over what we wanted: a big, debt-free Catholic family. We wanted a lifestyle that allowed me to stay home with however many kids God sent us. And so, our wedding was very simple yet also reflected who we are. And for our honeymoon, we spent a week at a friend’s beach house and had a great time. Rob’s dad offered us some money to help because he knew we didn’t have much, and he said we could use it any way we pleased. We put this gift toward a down payment on a town house. As the kids have grown up and gotten married, they have taken a page from us and have kept their expectations about their wedding and honeymoon very reasonable. As of this writing in 2020, two of our daughters and two of our sons have gotten married, and each of them has managed to keep the expenses down. And while we could have written a whole book about how to do weddings on the cheap, we want to share a few ideas with you now. (If you like what you read here, be sure to get a copy of our book, A Catholic Guide to Spending Less and Living More.)

Tip #1: Fit Your Wedding to Your Budget (Not Vice Versa)

 Each time a daughter gets married, we give her and her fiancé $5,000, tell them it’s theirs to do with as they want, and suggest that they decide together what is important to them. (Rob usually suggests they pocket the money and elope. He really does hate large crowds!) While it is traditional for the bride’s family to pay for the wedding, many couples today budget and pay for this event on their own. We have seen in our own two daughters’ weddings that they had different wants vs. needs. One daughter wanted a fancy dress and a good photographer. She stayed under budget by having a smaller wedding. The other daughter married into a very big family, so she decided to host a big group and save money on her dress. She wanted delicious food, so we paid the caterer for his special recipe of meat and mashed potatoes, skipped his servers and appetizers, and enlisted some friends to make our own appetizers. We saved so much. Here is what our oldest daughter, Alexandria (Alex), had to say about her wedding: My parents gave us $5,000 for our wedding. I could decide to spend that however I liked and pay for any extras. We even paid for the honeymoon with that money! I chose the things that were important to me to focus on. For me, that was the dress, photos, and flowers. However, I still saved on those areas by negotiating a lower photo price by only doing the ceremony and formal portraits. I saved on flowers by buying online from a wholesale flower farm and making table arrangements myself. For the venue, I was able to use a clubhouse in my grandpa’s neighborhood, which also helped to keep the guest list short and allowed me to save on food. Finally, for the honeymoon, we stayed in a private house on the beach but did this at a place within driving distance. 4 Weddings the Fatzinger Way We were so proud of our daughter for managing her money so carefully. Since she wanted a certain fancy dress, she figured out when it would be on sale. Then she negotiated a deal with the photographer to take pictures just for the ceremony (instead of buying one of his packages) and had friends and family take photos at the reception. We ended up with about seven hundred photos in total! Alex ordered most of the decorations and flowers online, and discovered it was cheaper to buy tablecloths than to rent them ($12 per tablecloth to buy them online versus $20 to rent them). That was ten years ago, and we use those purple tablecloths at least five times a year at our church for funerals, weddings, and retreats. The food was from a local Italian restaurant, and we had friends serve it and help with the bar and kitchen. (Yes, we have amazing friends.) A friend of Alex’s made cupcakes for dessert, and we used an iPod for the music with a playlist that Alex and her husband created. I purchased my dress and shoes at a consignment shop for under $40 and found a tux for Rob at Goodwill for $15 that fit him perfectly. We sprang an extra $10 for dry cleaning because Rob was afraid someone died wearing it. After Alex’s small wedding, we wanted to invite the entire town to meet our new “son-in-love,” so we had a huge open house a week after the wedding to show off the photos and celebrate our first child getting married. We rented our parish hall and had about three hundred people in and out all day. Rob did the cooking with some help from friends. We hired a DJ and a face painter, and cotton candy was provided by Alex’s old boss at the concession stand where she worked during high school and college. It was a blast because our friends could bring their kids!

 Tip #2: Ask and You Shall Receive

 When our second daughter, Elizabeth (Lizzie), got married, we also gave her $5,000 and told her it was hers to do what she could. Her priority was inviting extended family on both sides (she married a guy with a huge extended family) and having good food. There were 160 guests. Because her wedding was twice as large as her sister’s, the expenses were also higher. But as usual, God provides the biggest blessings if we get out of his way. At a church dinner, I was talking to one of Lizzie’s coworkers at the Catholic school where she taught math and explained what a hard time we were having finding a hall we could afford for that number of guests. “Have you talked to the high school president?” she asked. “I bet she’d let you use the gym.” So our very shy daughter asked Sr. Joan, who gave her blessing. The school let us use not only the hall but also the huge kitchen attached as well as tables and tablecloths. Another friend gave us her white chair covers from her own wedding. I put on Facebook that I was looking for mason jars to use as vases, and all my friends came through again! Two different friends commented, “I have had this case of jars just sitting around waiting for a good home!” All you need to do is ask, and God provides! We selected a caterer and picked out the food we wanted. When we got the cost estimate, we were a little overwhelmed. We thanked the caterer kindly and explained that we had fourteen children and that was a little pricey for us, and he emailed back with a huge discount. Thanks be to God! The caterer provided the main and side dishes. We made three huge tables of appetizers with some help from friends, and it was fantastic. Our simple style was three tables in different parts of the gym, all 5 Weddings the Fatzinger Way having the same food: a fruit tray, a veggie tray, cheese and crackers, tortilla chips, seven-layer dip, and queso cheese sauce from California Tortilla (our daughter’s favorite). Brides need to learn that investing in one area means cutting costs in others. Lizzie ordered her dress and a veil on eBay for $155 total. The friend she hired to take the pictures did a lovely job and didn’t charge much. I found lovely, brand-new navy shoes from a thrift store for $9 that I have worn for three more weddings. Rob wore his tux from Alex’s wedding and got a new tie to go with it. It was a wonderful celebration, doable with hard work and help from family and friends.

 Tip #3: Avoid Falling in Love Long-Distance (A Groom’s Family Splurge)

Our oldest son fell in love with an amazing girl he met while working for FOCUS (Fellowship of Catholic University Students, missionaries to college students). To be honest, when I found out the girl lived in Arizona, I wasn’t too pleased. I know what happens when you fall in love with someone far away: You leave your momma! We all flew out for the wedding and took advantage of being near the Grand Canyon to make it a dream vacation. We may not be able to have a family trip like that again, but it was terrific. We rented a house and had a great rehearsal dinner there. We cooked food and celebrated with all the local family and wedding party. Rob purchased a gray suit to match the wedding party: $99, free shipping, and no alterations needed. This son’s wedding cost us more than the girls’ weddings, but it was a huge success. Rob told the kids that he wouldn’t be traveling more than an hour from our house for any future weddings, so the boys had better fall in love with local girls. And so far they have.

Tip #4: Don’t Forget the Fun 

Our second son married a wonderful girl he met in physical therapy school. We took advantage of a good opportunity to host the rehearsal dinner at a restaurant near the church. The chef had just won the cooking contest show Chopped, and the food he prepared was incredible. For that wedding, I borrowed a friend’s stunning dress, and another friend did my hair. Rob bought a navy-blue suit online for $120 that was similar to what the groomsmen wore. Before the spate of weddings, he hadn’t purchased a suit since 1987—now he owns two suits and a tux.

A Final Word on Weddings from Our Daughter Lizzie

 Weddings don’t have to cost $30,000 or more. For my wedding, my parents gave me $5,000, my grandparents gave me $2,500, and my in-laws provided beer and wine. Anything more we wanted, we had to cover ourselves. We stayed within (or very close to) our budget, however. I ordered a $100 wedding dress on Amazon and had it altered by a local seamstress. I bought a pair of shoes for $78, which was a little pricey for me, but they were very pretty, had lace on them, and matched my dress. I borrowed my veil from my grandma; she and my sister had bought it years before at a consignment sale for 25 cents and the lace matched my dress perfectly! To help my bridesmaids save money, I let them pick out their dresses. As long as it was a floor-length, dark green dress, it was fine with me. Some purchased a dress for $20 on Amazon or eBay, and some spent up to $75 buying 6 Weddings the Fatzinger Way a dress elsewhere. Either way, they were able to save more than you would typically spend at a bridal shop. My husband and two of his groomsmen wore $150 suits from Men’s Wearhouse that they had bought earlier in the year for his cousin’s wedding. The biggest expenses for my wedding were photography and catering. However, we still saved money in those areas. We hired a family friend who was a photographer but hadn’t done weddings. She was wonderful and much cheaper than the typical wedding photographer. To save money, we just hired her for the bridal party pictures and the ceremony, but to gain some extra experience and because she was awesome, she came and took getting-ready shots and reception pictures! Since I don’t really care for cake, we had doughnuts for dessert. We ordered 180 doughnuts (fifteen dozen) from a local doughnut shop, and it cost about $200, which is cheaper than a wedding cake. Music was another large expense. For the ceremony, we hired two people from a music group at church to play music and sing. They cost $300. We opted for a DJ at the reception, which is cheaper than a live band. The DJ cost $650. Since it was December, we decided against having flowers at the reception, which saved a lot of money. I bought roses and baby’s breath at a local grocery store two days before the wedding and made my own bouquets. I had a bouquet of red roses, greenery, and baby’s breath, and my bridesmaids had just a single white rose (the maid and matron of honor had three) and greenery. Overall, it was very inexpensive for the flowers. For favors, we ordered custom plastic cups in our wedding color with our names, the date, and a fancy monogram design. They also had white labels each guest’s name and table number, so they doubled as place finders. We purchased more than two hundred cups for about $200 online. These are all simple ideas anyone can come up with that didn’t cost lots of money. We all had a blast, and many hands volunteered to make the evening incredibly special. We know that God and family come first and that marriage is a lifetime—not a one-day party that costs thousands of dollars

Homeschooling on a budget

How to homeschool on a budget

(notes from my talk at the Catholic Homeschool Conference)

To give you some info about me, I am the wife of Rob for 34 years, the mom to 14 (ages 33-6), and the Grammy to 13. I homeschooled my kids till college. Thanks to a homeschool Tutorial called St Peter the Rock, (see my prerecorded talk on how to start a Tutorial).  My oldest two are homeschooling my grandkids. So, it is nice to know they don’t regret being homeschooled. My answer when people asked where my kids went to school was “homeschooling Is our lifestyle, not just our academic choice!”

In 2016 our family was featured in the Washington Post for, “How one family is sending 13 kids to college, living debt free-and still plans to retire early” by Erica Johnston. The week the article came out we were put in charge of a dear little 3-day-old baby boy. (He will be 7 this August)  Ave Maria Press saw that article and offered us a writing contract on a book called,  “A Catholic Guide to Spending Less and Living More, advice from a debt-free family of 16. “ Since then, my husband has retired, and we still have two children being homeschooled.

I am here to give you some ideas and suggestions on how to homeschool on a budget! Let me tell you…IT CAN BE DONE!!! I have been homeschooling for over 30 years and you can do it!!!

Make sure you and your spouse get on the same page. One of my favorite catholic couples Mike and Alicia Hernon  are known for saying, “its better to be wrong together, than right alone!” (Please follow their podcast and resources at @messy family) I say all the time, “Marriage is a Sacrament, Parenting isn’t” Even though we love those little darlings more than life itself, after God, our spouse is our main responsibility.

For those who want the quick “Cliff notes,” on how to homeschool on a budget,  I am going to make this easy…remember my name…SAM

S: simplify-

you don’t need to buy all the stuff…my go-to comment to new homeschoolers is, “You need a library card and a math book!” Our family loves, loves books…so I have them EVERYWHERE. I get them from garage sales, library sales, thrift stores,  freecycle, and as gifts. For curriculum I bought things that could be reproduced, or that we could use over again or with multiple grades. I also would always watch for my favorite go-to workbooks by my favorite publishers at used sales, like Explode the Code, Miquion (Singapore)Math, Easy Grammar, wordly wise, Handwriting without Tears, Catholic Heritage Books, and many more.

You don’t need to do all the stuff… so many of us are burnt out from running all over the place to this co-op or this club…I know it is so tempting to do all the things and participate in all the fun activities but slow down…isn’t this why you are HOMEschooling? You are not driving- schooling…music lessons are nice, clubs are nice, sports are good…but not if they are costing us more than just a hole in our wallet. So much of our time is wasted getting to and from activities. Especially if you have little ones, those poor babies need to be home playing not stuck in a car seat driving their siblings all over. Not to mention the money we spend on prepackaged snacks and food when we are on the go ALL…THE…TIME…it gets very easy and tempting to stop for some fast food when you had to rush out to piano lessons, or to go to the after-game pizza dinner because little Johnny made a goal…or to have to pay for all the extra equipment for all the sports and clubs. Now I KNOW I am hitting some sore spots with some families. I by no means think you shouldn’t participate in all the cool activities that are available, especially since many people homeschool so they have more time to pursue some important talent or hobby like Irish Step dancing, golf, robotics, ice skating, or gymnastics. Please don’t feel singled out. I am mainly talking to large families struggling with finances, who feel they need to take out a second mortgage so little Johnny can play on a travel soccer team.  Many couples need to narrow down what their goals are. I would pray and think, “What is best for our entire family???” How much is acceptable for your family?  How much will this cost, how much time will this take, and who else can help? (Grandparents, godparents, retired friends, neighbors, uncles, and aunts?) We made our kids wait till age 9 or 10 before participating in sports. Even then we found teams where we knew the coach or someone on the team to carpool to practices and games. Some activities in our area are family friendly. They practice an hour before games and all ages play at the same fields. Also, many of our homeschool friends do things like cross country or swimming where all ages do it together.

 A: ask for help-

From God first then others, I know one of the workshops is on building a community, go to your friends to see if they have supplies you could use, borrow, or buy…if they don’t have it check your local homeschool groups. I know in our area they have so many to choose from and many who have Facebook groups you could ask there. Not to mention, things we were paying so much money for prior to covid are now free resources. I suggest asking grandparents or Godparents for things like a science center, zoo, or aquarium membership for gifts.

M: make do-

What do you already have??? Many people, myself included spend way too much money on a curriculum, and decide they hate it…but because they spent So Much on it, they make the child use it even if it isn’t a good fit for the child or the parent. Maybe ask a friend if you can see it before you buy it and get other advice before purchasing expensive material. Don’t forget to always look at used book sites. I will share a list at the end.

Pre-package curriculum might be great for different seasons in your homeschooling. I have always put together my own resources from what works best with each kid and their learning style.

We used in the past the library, all the time!! I know the library isn’t what it used to be, but you can order DVDs, activity kits, and more online. Check your library app which gives you access to online research, books online, and other things you can access from home.

What can you do with or do on your own without spending lots of money? There are also a million DYI or how-to-build stuff online to keep your kids busy learning and making things from scratch. Do things at home like cooking, playing outside, arts & crafts, games, fort building, and nature walks.  Not to mention those thousand toys and games the grandparents gave the kids for Christmas or Birthdays. What can you utilize for free in your community? Parks, beaches, play areas, library activities, free concerts,  grocery shopping, nature centers, town outdoor movies, pet stores,  museums, and so many other homeschool-friendly places right in your town that build learning into fun.  

I asked my frugal book friend Nancy about how she gets discounts and sales, especially for high school and college. She suggested buying used books or renting them. AbeBooks, ThriftBooks, Better World Books, and Amazon sells used books and rent textbooks also. Make sure to watch for favorite publishers who have sales and free shipping, it helps to check their website or get on their mailing list.

 

Thy Will Be Done!!! +JMJ+